Reasons to be cheerful (part 1)

Hello, hello, and Seasons' Greetings to you all!


If you have been celebrating Christmas, I hope you had a good one. If you haven't been celebrating, I hope you've still found plenty of things to enjoy during this past week. Here are some of my own current Reasons to be Cheerful:

* The days are getting longer and the sun is getting higher in the sky - hooray!

* There are two brave little pink roses trying to bloom in my garden.

* We had a nice Christmas: my children liked their prezzies and we had a lovely meal with friends.

* My youngest son's favourite present was a cuddly polar bear given to him by his big brother, so they have declared an amnesty and are friends at the moment.

* My eldest son gave me Bill Bailey's Tinselwood DVD, and (almost better) since I haven't yet watched it, I am still in a state of excited anticip-p-p-pation about it!

* I have rediscovered sloe gin and ginger wine: perfect winter drinks!

* I haven't listened to the news for several days now, so I haven't been made depressed by what I've heard!

* I have an open fire, and logs and dried rosemary twigs to put on it.

* I am catching up on sleep.

And last but not least, someone called Trevor invented a marvellous phrase to describe the Random Act of Fun I posted about last time, which I would like to nominate as Original Linguistic Invention of the week... it's 'cracker frippery'! Perfectomundo!

Flow x

Random fun with Christmas crackers!

Random Acts of Fun: Christmas Crackers!

Yesterday was the winter solstice - the shortest, darkest day of the year - a time when the world especially needs a bit of light and laughter!

So I went with a bunch of people to a big shopping centre in our nearest town, to take part in a Random Act of Fun. We simply took along a few boxes of Christmas crackers and asked strangers "Would you like to pull a cracker with me?"

Have a quick look at the video to see what happened (it's only one-and-a-half minutes long)... And though it's sad to see that some people actually seemed scared to share in such a simple pleasure, we did bring smiles to lots of other faces!

Flow x

Ten things I didn't know last week

I've just found a lovely page on the BBC website - 10 things we didn't know last week. And since Learning New Things is one of my favourite pastimes, I thought I'd give you my own list of things that I didn't know last week ...

* 97% of the world's money only exists electronically - only 3% exists as notes or coins.

* Loads of corporations are richer than countries: for example, Toyota and General Electric are richer than Portugal and Iran; Wal-mart, Exxon and Ford are richer than South Africa and Saudi Arabia (ibid).

* If a school holds incorrect information about your child, the Data Protection Act says they have to put it right.

* When my local Chinese takeaway says food could take "up to an hour", they actually mean one hour and 47 minutes.

* Solar noon (the time when the sun is highest in the sky) is at exactly noon on Christmas eve , for the one-and-only time this year.

* Google Earth also lets you look at the sky above your location, including stars, sunrises and sunsets (I've tried it - it's fun!)

* Our local Council doesn't want yoghurt pots because they don't have facilities for recycling polypropylene - not because they're fed up with unwashed, mouldy tubs.

* Burger King is marketing a men's perfume with the scent of meat. (YUCK! Please don't add that one to your Christmas lists, boys!)

* Galileo thermometers measure temperature by using little balls filled with liquids of slightly different densities, which change pressure as the liquids expand and contract, and so float up and down in a tube of water at different rates ... and they're pretty, too! (That's what's shown in the picture above - courtesy of Wikipedia).

* 'Mince' means 'coin' in Czech ... so are mince pies popular in the Czech Republic?!

So ... what would be on your list of new things you've learned this week?!

Flow x

Zeitgeist

Have you heard of the Zeitgeist Movement? If not, let me introduce you!

It's a new and growing movement that wants to change the world. It calls for shifts in human awareness and behaviour, so that we can all live creatively and positively, enjoying the good things in life.

It celebrates human potential and existing achievements. Particularly, it talks about the technology that already exists to provide us with all the power, transport and leisure we want. It critiques the economic, political and social systems we currently live within, and presents arguments and evidence about how these - but especially money, the drive for 'profit' and debt - harm us all and prevent us from living the lives we deserve. It offers concrete suggestions for how we can get involved and play a part - yes, you and me too! - in changing the world.

The Zeitgeist Movement is hugely idealistic - and I mean that as a compliment: isn't it about time for a new global movement that shakes us all up a bit and encourages us to (how can I put it, hem hem) go-go with the flow?!

The Zeitgeist website isn't as good as it could be. It is full of jargon and ideology that will put off many visitors before the ideas can hook 'em. But the Zeitgeist movies are compelling. If you only watch one documentary this year, make it Zeitgeist Addendum. It weaves together information and ideas about money, politics, big business, American interventionism, war, international 'aid', technology, 'green' energy, transport, the Venus Project, labour, leisure, sustainability, creativity, religion, human nature and consciousness ... and ends with a call to action!

(I tried to embed Zeitgeist Addendum here, but it wouldn't work - I may try again later, but meanwhile, click on the movie link above to go to Google Video).

And last year's Zeitgeist movie explored links between the global banking system and international terrorism, and put forward the best 'conspiracy theory' I've heard, arguing that 9-11 was a put-up, 'inside job'. Very interesting!

You don't have to agree with everything the Zeitgeist Movement says to rejoice in the fact that someone is out there saying it! As the filmakers say themselves, "We must be open to new information at all times, even if it threatens our belief systems and identities".

Personally, I am absolutely delighted to have stumbled upon this evidence that there are other people thinking things that I've been thinking: people who care about the world, who have some faith in human beings, who are happy to try to change even if it's scary or difficult, and who are passionate enough about these ideas to make a couple of non-commercial movies and start a global movement.

"We must become the change we want to see in the world" - Mohandas Gandhi.

Yup, the Zeitgeist Movement has captured something important - and it may well be the 'spirit of the age'. I hope so!




Flow x

Better than Telly

Leo Brazil and his Twitch

I went to a house gig last night.

Now, when I say 'house gig', I'm not describing the type of music: I literally mean that the gig was in a house. Yes, a house on a street, with a front door and windows and a kitchen and all the usual housey things. The sitting room was set up with rows of chairs, and the musicians were squeezed into a tiny sort of 'stage' area in a corner under a frilly standard lamp.

My friend Bar organises these gigs, in the house where he lives with his partner Jaq. He bills them as 'Better than Telly' nights, which is a great reminder that we can do more with our evenings than sit in front of the goggle box. I won't go all political on you (or not for long) but they're a fantastic antidote to the credit crunch, crazy Christmas consumerism and all the recent greyness!

Last night we heard Terry and Julie play great blues, then Leo Brazil playing a solo set of his bouncy, bluesy, funky, pyschedelic songs. (And look, doesn't his video have a very appropriate animation?!) Last time, it was Bar himself and the London acoustic hip-hop band Squab, with their totally gob-smacking human beat box guy, Reeps One.

If you look at either of the You Tube clips below, you'll see that this really is just an ordinary, smallish sitting room...

James 'Bar' Bowen

Squab

Better than Telly? Yeeaah - too bloody right! Now I'm wondering what exciting things I should do with my sitting room this Christmas!



Flow x

P.S. I promised you a new word every week. So here's this week's: Pasticulate (V.) To wave a spaghetti-entwined fork about while making a passionate point during a meal-time conversation.

Lunar lunacy

Tonight's full moon is closer to the Earth than it has been at any time in the past 15 years. It's about 30,000km closer ... which is roughly twice the distance between London (England) and Sidney (Australia).

Funnily enough, I 'own' a bit of the moon. My acre is in Area E-5, Quadrant Foxtrot - about where the left eye would be, if the moon were a face ...

Isn't that a crazy bit of hubris? Real lunacy! As if anyone could actually claim to possess a bit of the marvellous moon. But it was an irresistible purchase - a joke that is also a seductive slice of fantasy! Apparently the Head Cheese who is the 'recognised owner' of the moon has the legal right to sell on slivers to whomever he chooses. Even you, if you like!

I don't really expect to be able to retire to my acre of moon. But I love the idea that I might!

Back on earth, I've just been outside: it's wild and wet and windy, but too cloudy to actually see anything.

.

But I reckon that full moon explains a thing or two about today ...

.

.

.

Flow x

(This image of the moon is provided by NASA copyright-free, and has been downloaded from Wikipedia).

Happiness is contagious!

It's official - happiness is catching!

A new study, carried out by Harvard Medical School and published last week in the British Medical Journal, found that people who are surrounded by happy people are more likely to be happy themselves.

This means that YOU are more likely to be happy if you have a happy spouse, happy neighbours, and happy friends who live near by!

The researchers used a technique called 'social network analysis' to find out who was friends with whom, and how this related to how happy each person felt. Like all research, the study has its strengths and weaknesses, but overall the findings are significant and reliable, as well as cheering!

The more happy people you know, the happier you are likely to be; and the nearer those people are to you, the bigger the happiness-effect will be.

It seems that communities have an important role in making individuals happy. As the researchers themselves say, there is now "further justification for seeing happiness, like health, as a collective phenomenon". This chimes with other research this year which suggested a new formula for happy communities: Neighbourliness + Empowerment = Wellbeing.

Now, although we may be encouraged to go out and find lots of happy people to surround ourselves with, this equation is also a reminder that happiness isn't everything. I'm sure we all know a grouchy-but-supportive neighbour or relative - the sort of person who's good in a crisis, who'll help when your pipes burst in the middle of the night, or when you need an emergency babysitter. Also, those random acts of kindness that spread so much happiness can even be carried out by someone in a bad mood. (Bus drivers specialise in this, I find!)

And of course, more often than not, you make yourself happy when you spread happiness. You'll all know the feeling: you start out miserable, but then you do something kind and spread a little happiness - and soon you feel much better!

Yes, happiness spreads like the 'flu ... and 'though we're most likely to catch it from our friends, sometimes even a misery-guts can pass it on!






Flow x

No clangers from the Clangers!

There was a sad bit of news today: Oliver Postgate - the creator of the 1970s children's TV classics The Clangers, Bagpuss, Noggin the Nog and Ivor the Engine - has died.

If you're my sort of age, you will probably remember the Clangers and their swanee whistle voices, and the gargley Soup Dragon (and all those other programmes too), with very fond nostalgia. I was four when the Clangers started, and I loved them. Their gentleness, music, and liking for strange contraptions seeped into my consciousness - I identified with them and wanted to be a Clanger too!

Now the BBC has released a fragment from a missing Clangers' episode, and re-awoken great memories. This was the last-ever Clangers programme, and was a four minute election special broadcast on October 10, 1974. It was considered controversial (What, politics in children's telly? How appalling!) and has never been shown since.

As I remember, the Clangers lived in a kind of peaceful anarchy - arguably much preferable to any political system known to us today! In the fragment, the narrator tries to explain politics to the incredulous Clangers, who shake their heads in disbelief at it all. And their episode Treasure is a parable about how very silly it is to get obsessed with money!

So let's call on the BBC to release the whole of the 'missing' episode. Perhaps the Clangers have some wisdom that will get us out of our current economic and political messes!

.

.

Flow x

Why yes, I do occasionally just burst out in song!

This morning I was fed up: I had to get up in the dark, and when it finally got light (about quarter to eight, for goodness sake!) I discovered my village was stuck inside a cloud and the day promised nothing but rain and greyness. This afternoon I was still fed up: more greyness, plus an added soupcon of grumpiness for good measure. This evening, I started out fed up ... but then I went to a singing group... and now I am HAPPY again!

Singing has got to be one of the BEST good things in life!

I know a lot of people will find this hard to believe. A lot of us get embarrassed for our singing when we are just little kids. My own humiliation was when I was eight, and our music teacher Mr Joiner (see - I remember his name) picked me last for our class choir. It took me decades to dare to open my mouth again. And of course, on the rare occasions I tried, it didn't sound good, 'cos voice muscles (like every other muscle in your body) won't work well when they're tense. Fear and singing don't mix well.

But my oh my oh my! If you can find a singing group to join - or if you're really shy, a secluded spot to indulge in secret singing - then GO FOR IT, please! There's nothing quite like singing for getting the endorphins going ... Yes, when it comes to the Happy Hormones, singing even gives sex a run for its money!

And if I really, really can't persuade you to try it yourself, then at least have a look at this Food Court Musical. It's singing as it should be: communal, spontaneous (well, maybe not!), just a little bit silly, and joyful! It'll make you smile - which is especially wonderful on an otherwise grey day!

Flow x

P.S. I adapted the title of this blog from a facebook group I'm rather fond of - thanks!

Weird and wonderful words

I love words.

Everyday words, rare and special words, technical words, poetic words, onomatopaeic words and nonsense words ... I'm pretty much with Sesame Street's Abby Cadabby on this: I've never met a word I didn't like.

Some words, though, give particular pleasure. Some of my everyday favourites are satisfyingly simple: egg, mug and ooze for example. Some are simply silly - ridiculous even - like cauliflower and collywobbles, ramshackle and rhinoceros. Others are scrunchy, tactile words like gravel, velveteen and - um - scrunchy.

You may have spotted a theme by now. Many of my favourites are words which sound somehow right for their meanings. Candelabra, for instance, sounds heavy, expensive and breakable. Thin sounds, well, thin. Curvaceous sounds wonderfully sensuous and generous.

It makes me especially happy when people create new words that feel apt, satisfying, or just plain perfect! Lewis Carroll, of course, was a master at this. The nonsense words in his poem Jabberwocky feel so right that people who hear them can often give you their own definitions. Try it yourself, with slithy, mimsy, frumious and uffish for instance. (Your definitions may or may not be the ones which Humpty Dumpty gave to Alice).

And of course, the very technology that brings you this blog has also introduced us to a fantastic, rich new vocabulary, with some words - like downloading, texting, streaming and re-booting, for example - now much more everyday than technical. If you fancy a laugh - or you need definitions of phrases like textrovert, foot in mouth disease or bullshit bingo - I'd really recommend The Urban Dictionary!

Yes, words are fun; words are there to be played with! I'm planning to invent at least one new word per week for the lifetime of this blog, starting with snorquel - which is the puzzling phenomenon of many Frenchmen snorkling together - and the title of today's photo. Go on, why don't you give it a go too?! Send me your invented words and I'll include them here!


Flow x

There's love and hope - not 'pure evil' - in Shannon Matthews' community

Once upon a time there was a poor little girl who was kidnapped and held prisoner for almost three weeks, tied up and drugged and made to keep quiet. Her mother called for help, and the police launched one of the biggest and most expensive searches in British history, backed by a community that stayed awake for nights on end and combed the streets looking for the missing girl.

But this isn't another fairy tale.

Yesterday, as you probably already know, Shannon Matthews' mother Karen was convicted of kidnapping her own daughter, and of false imprisonment and perverting the course of justice. The police spokesperson Det. Supt. Andy Brennan described her as 'pure evil'.

Now 'evil' is a very tricky thing to define. I'd argue that before you can say what 'evil' is, you probably have to define 'good' and also God. But in everyday usage, when you call someone 'evil' it means something more like "I don't like them 'cos I think they do really bad things". The Urban Dictionary (admittedly more amusing than authoratative) adds: "More specifically, they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, their money and anyone who might help them get their money".

Personally, I'd say that Karen Matthews seems to have acted nastily, cruelly, dangerously, thoughtlessly, selfishly, stupidly and probably greedily ... but I'd be hard pushed to call her 'evil'. I'm with Bruno Bettleheim on this, who thinks notions of good and evil belong in fairytales, and that in reality - uncomfortably - we are all "good and bad at the same time".

I really wish that police officers would keep opinions like this to themselves. The job of the police force is to ensure safe, strong communities - and spreading hatred is never, ever going to help. Brennan's comment reveals a primative psychology that seems to believe - like a simple fairy-tale or young child - or tabloid reader - that "A person is either good or bad, nothing in between". Grown-ups with responsible positions really should know better.

And thankfully, Shannon Matthews' own neighbours and community do know better.

Several news programmes have interviewed people from Dewsbury Moor, West Yorkshire - the neighbours and community activists on the Moorside estate who were actively involved in the hunt for Shannon. But although there is a sense of betrayal - after all, local people worked hard and selflessly for weeks - their anger has been restrained. By and large, local people seem to have resisted the urge to demonise Karen Matthews. One - tenants' rep Julie Busby - said on Radio 4 yesterday "Everybody's got views ... But I live on Moorside so I try to keep my views to myself ". I was impressed.

Dewsbury Moor is a strong community that has had a lot of bad press. But I live and work in the same Local Authority area, and have done bits of development work there in the past, and can tell you it doesn't deserve its tabloid reputation. Standing out from the pack, Channel 4 news has tried to paint a fairer picture of this "remarkably resilient and generous community that feels betrayed both by Karen Matthews and much of the media coverage". As one Dewsbury woman put it: "I don't think it's as bad as they make out".

The community is remarkable and inspiring because it is fighting against a tide of negative media coverage - and is so far resisting the temptation to join a tabloid witch-hunt. Good on them, I say!

And best of all, local people are remembering who is really the important person in all of this - the little girl Shannon herself.

I'll give the (almost) last word to local resident Petra Jamieson, speaking on the Channel 4 news broadcast yesterday: "I hope one day she'll come back onto Moorside estate and see the people that went out for 24 days searching for her, knowing that we all care about her, and we still will".

That gives me hope that after all, there's love - not hatred or 'evil' - in the heart of our communities.

Flow x

Thumbing our noses at Christmas

OK, now that it's December, I might just deign to start thinking about Christmas.

Left to my own devices, I would go and stay by a beach somewhere, deck the rocks with thousands of fairy lights, collect driftwood and light a big fire, and have a party with all my favourite people. No presents.

Of course the kids would never forgive me. For me, the best bits of Christmas are the socialising, and bringing extra light and warmth to the coldest time of year. But for them there's no doubt it's presents ... and sleeping in their own beds on Christmas eve so Santa can find them easily!

I do not enjoy Christmas shopping. I like giving gifts, but only when I find something that really suits a particular person. I don't like buying for the sake of buying, or the desperation you feel in the shops at this time of year. Everyone seems to take it so seriously.

But I have just found a website that will definitely help me thumb my nose at Christmas shopping! They're not paying me to advertise (honest!) but they have lots of truly ridiculous presents. A key-ring that you can pop like bubble wrap, for instance, and a shower-light that changes the colour of the water depending on its temperature.

One of the first things to catch my eye was a little package of Nothing. Literally. As the website says: "This lovingly crafted vial of emptiness is filled to the brim with unfettered nothingness. Free from the burden of possessions, the weight of responsibility, Nothing is as idiotic as it is brilliant. It's a statement, an empty gesture if you will, a nod at the futility of ownership, and yet despite 'Nothing' being nothing, it is of course packed with millions of protons, neutrons and what have you, which is pretty good for Nothing".

It's the perfect 'go-go with the flow' gift: simultaneously deep 'n' meaningful and utterly daft!

And THIS absurd little creature is another favourite. It's a flying pig, powered by elastic. "Next time someone poo poos your brilliant idea with a 'Pigs might Fly' comment, you can prove that they do by catapulting this ballistic Babe across the room". That sounds like a challenge to me!

And here's a challenge for you ... If you come across any silly gadgets and gizmos - ones that make you laugh out loud - let me know. Let's show 'em what we really mean by Christmas cheer!


Flow x

Wise words and cooking with reckless abandon

I'm not fond of spam email, but I received one this morning that I actually want to pass on!

Its creator tells us "This is what the Dalai Lama has to say for 2008". I checked out the Dalai Lama's website and couldn't find it there, but whether or not the words originally come from him, they are wise and worth sharing.

I tried uploading it - it's a Powerpoint presentation with great pictures, including the one here - but I couldn't manage it. So here is the text, minus the other pictures I'm afraid!

• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


• When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.


• Follow the three R’s: Respect for Self, Respect for Others and Responsibility for all your Actions.


• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.


• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.


• Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.


• When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


• Spend some time alone every day.


• Open your arms to change, but don’t give up your values.


• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.


• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.


• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.


• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.


• Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.


• Be gentle with the Earth.


• Once a year, go some place you’ve never been before.


• Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.


• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.


• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
  

I love the idea of 'cooking with reckless abandon'! I'm off to fling a few veg round the kitchen this very moment!

Oh, and if you like these words, pass them on! The spam-mail promises great good khama if you do!




Flow x

An important truth about girls in red hoods (and wolves)

I went to a story-telling event last night. The Devil's Violin was a fabulous, powerful mix of tale and music. Its passions were part gypsy, part Celtic, part Eastern European... and all magic and mystery!

It reminded me that, though I have been telling tales to tots this autumn, it has been quite a while since I told one of my grown-up stories - one of my Fairy Tales for Middle Age.

So...

Are you sitting comfortably?

Once upon a time (you know how it goes), there was a girl who lived on the edge of a forest with her mother, not far from her granny’s house. This girl was young and pretty and cool, and she had a top with a red hood – and it was not just any old red, either, but a fabulous, flaming crimson!

Now, a red hoody may be okay to wear in the city (wicked!) but it’s a bit of a liability for a girl in a rural area. It makes her rather too conspicuous. We know for sure that this lass is going to attract attention, and probably get herself into a spot or two of bother. R-E-D spells Trouble, with a capital T.

One day, Red’s mother sent her to her granny’s with some lunch in a basket, and some stern Laying-Down-the-Law words about staying on the path, avoiding poisonous mushrooms and all sorts of other dangers (yada yada, yeah yeah - you’ve heard it all before!) and Not Talking To Strangers.

Well, you know, Ma could have saved her breath, ‘cos Red – like any girl dressed so symbolically – couldn’t, or wouldn’t, quash her curiosity. Everything caught her attention: birds and butterflies, spiders and slugs, favourite flowers and unfamiliar fungi, strange smells and intriguing noises through the trees. She soon wandered off the path …

… And, pretty soon, of course, Red met a WOLF.

The Wolf was huge, hairy and scary, sharp-toothed and dangerous … but also (you know it’s true!) very interesting … and more-than-a-little exciting. So Red just couldn’t resist it: she chatted with the Wolf. And where’s the harm, eh, in just a few words … and maybe a teeny, weeny bit of flirtation?

And the Wolf (did I say he was smart, too?) didn’t ask any suspicious questions or make any inappropriate suggestions at all. So Red was soon happy to tell him exactly what she was doing and where she was going. You may say she was naïve; but personally, I’d say she rather wanted to Play with Fire …

Soooo … Red and the Wolf agreed to race. And before long (let’s cut to the chase like the Wolf) granny is gone – all eaten up – and Red and the Wolf are going through that well-known What-Big-Eyes/Ears/Teeth-You-Have routine.

And there’s Red, leaning over the bed - leaning over the wolf - staring intently into his deep, dark eyes …

Just beginning to wonder (I’ll bet!) whether teeth like that can possibly have Honourable Intentions …

… When – TA RAAA! …

In rushes the Woodcutter – dressed for action - axe in hand – and chops off the Wolf’s head! Whizz, thump!

“You’re safe now!” crows the Woodcutter. (And perhaps we can forgive him for feeling just a little bit smug and self-satisfied, under the circumstances).

However …

“You idiot!” retorted Red (unexpectedly, you may think). “You blithering, blinking idiot!” (tho' I’m afraid she may have been less polite). “I had the situation totally under control!”

“But - but -” spluttered the woodcutter, inarticulately.

“Wolves get a bad press,” the furious Red continued, “They’re not as tough as they make out. I could’ve handled him! And in any case – it was my problem, and you should’ve left me to sort it out!

“I – I – ” spluttered the woodcutter, still lost for words (and let’s face it, he’s only a secondary character, and he’s lucky to have any kind of speaking part at all).

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you people need to learn to deal with their own mistakes?!” demanded Red.

But the woodcutter (who had never watched daytime TV or read Iron John) just scratched his head and said nothing.

“Don’t you realise,” Red ranted on, “How important it is for me to learn to deal with wolves myself?! After all, my family has a history of dysfunctional behaviour when it comes to wolves, y’know – and I don’t want to repeat their mistakes!

"My Mum can’t cope with ‘em at all: she’s too scared even to leave the path! And look at Granny! She never learned to handle ‘em either: she was so scared she took to her bed! But she couldn’t even recognise one when it crawled in beside her, and you know what happened to her!”

And Red turned sadly to gaze at the undeniably nasty mess on the bed.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful”, she said at last, “But wolves can’t be avoided. You have to learn to deal with them. And now that you have deprived me of an Important Learning Experience, I am just gonna have to go out and find more wolves, aren’t I? It’s a hassle”.

So she did.

And although we shall never know what happened to her, we can be pretty sure some of it was Trouble, and I think it’s quite possible she got eaten in the end. But it's certain that things happened to her along the way – which is, without a doubt, what any girl with a Red Hood wants.

Flow x

© 2008

Spread some warmth!

Eee but it's cold out there - look at the frost! (This was on the bonnet of a car we passed on the way to school yesterday).

How-so-ever, out of the blue, I have received two little nuggets of cosmic warmth; real chestnuts of unexpected and un-asked-for positivity!

The first was from someone who enjoyed a comment I'd left on a bulletin board. Though we'd never met or even talked, he emailed me just to say "Thanks for the humour!"

The second was another email, this time from a guy called Chris who runs the Facebook group 'Optimists Unite! Freedom for Happiness!'. He sent round a message to group members, just to spread some love. Here's part of it:

"I wonder if you realise, just how beautiful you are? Without you, the world would be incomplete. If you've ever felt alone, then you'll know how important it is to show how much you care. If you've ever felt helpless, then you know how it is to feel alone.

"The whole is always greater than the sum of its parts. We're all here for each other, and together we are stronger. Don't let lies tear us apart and weaken our resolve. Let truth bring us together so that we can truly evolve.

"Honesty is Love for yourself. Truth is love for others. Be true to yourself and honest to the people around you, and great things shall befall you... for you are sublime.

"The truth is... you are beautiful. You are the most caring, understanding, and wise person I know. I know this because I only know one... I know myself, and I know that we are of the same spirit, devoid of ego.

"Love yourself unconditionally: Heal the spirit. Love others unconditionally: Heal the world".

How wonderful it felt to be given some appreciation, optimism and inspiration when I least expected it. What's more, I'd been having a down-patch, and was more-than-ever in need of some warmth.... And along came these guys, helping to re-ignite a little spark of spirit! They were certainly making the flow more sparkly!

It gave me a boost of energy, and I was able to pass on some of the positivity to other people, through my own little acts of appreciation. Maybe this post will do the same for you. Go on ... Tell someone you know that they are wonderful ... I dare you!

Flow x

The end of flat-packs and pick'n'mix

Bear with me today, folks: this blog starts with misery, and moves on through rant, but it ends with some hope!

So, Woolworths and MFI have gone bust.

It's big news, and it has put the wind up a lot of people. And indeed, it's hard to imagine the high street without Woolies or the retail park without MFI, isn't it? A Britain without flat-packs and pick'n'mix!

These retail giants follow the Banks, as the latest victims of the credit crunch. And it seems likely that they won't be the only ones: PC World and Comet are apparently at risk too. "Weep for Woolies" says the BBC's political editor Robert Peston today, rather too sentimentally for my liking. Personally, I don't give a toss for the corporate casualties. It's the human casualties I'm sorry for: at least 30,000 individuals will lose their jobs as these companies go bust. And they will suffer all the more, no doubt, because almost all of them are already in debt.

Now beware, listen to the sirens blaring: here is a Rant Alert!

The trouble is, for the past decade or more, we've built our whole society on credit. Almost all of us do it: mortgages, loans, overdrafts, hire purchase, credit deals, credit cards, store cards ... we've got into the habit of casually building up debt. We've got so used to it that we don't even think any more about what credit really is. Let me spell it out: credit is money we haven't got.

If that's not shocking enough, here's something worse: the collapse of the banks and big business makes it frighteningly clear that they, too, have too much debt and not enough money. And if we haven't got the money, and they haven't got the money, then there's only one conclusion to draw: the money isn't there!

Yup, this is the bizarre truth behind the credit crunch: we have all been spending non-existent money! No wonder we're in trouble!

But this (at last!) is where I begin to feel the little first flickering flame of hope.

Andrew Lansley wasn't allowed to say it but I can (I am not a Tory politician AND I earn a lot less than the UK average wage, so I can say what I want) ... Recession might be good for us.

Of course, it's going to be Bad for many individuals. It's going to be Bad for those who lose their jobs or their houses. It's going to be Bad for those who suffer with stress and stress-related illnesses. And I'm sorry for all of them.

But maybe, just maybe, there will be some Good side-effects.

You see, I think we've been spending money we haven't got (and that's never a good thing) on things we don't need. So many of us have got into the habit of believing we need that second car, or that conservatory extension, or those designer clothes, or those packaged ready meals, or that wide-screen telly, or that extra games console ... and we don't. Really, we don't.

Now, I'm not a puritan. I'm all for splurging on wine and chocs and holidays and fun and beautiful things. And I wouldn't complain - not for one moment - about all this unnecessary consumption if it was doing any good or making people happy, but it isn't.

.

Huge numbers of people - probably the majority - work in jobs they hate to pay for these things that they don't need. Huge numbers of people are perpetually anxious, worrying about whether they can re-pay the credit they have accumulated. Huge numbers of people are miserable, and all their extra possessions do not make them happier.

So maybe, just maybe, as the recession bites and we have less money to spend, some of us will wake up and remember: "Hey: money won't buy me happiness, and money can't buy me love!"

.

And if so (since I'm really a hippy and anarchist at heart) then I say maybe this credit crunch will be the end of the world as we know it... But I'll feel fine! Because a Britain without flat-pack and pick'n'mix is hard to imagine right now, but it might just be a better one!

Flow x

Mushrooms, mists and musings

I don't much like autumn, usually.

It never feels like a season of mists and mellow fruitfulness to me. It's too depressing. All that rain, decay and darkness. When all hope of a late Indian summer has gone, I feel bereft - almost betrayed; and when the clocks go back, I rage, rage against the dying of the light.

But this year something seems to have changed. I am looking at autumn with different eyes.

.

Suddenly, the colours seem incredibly beautiful, and the sky seems higher, and the cold seems (what's the word?) brazen - like it is daring us to shake our heads and wake up.

.

If you look at my pics, I hope you'll see what I mean.

For the first time, as autumn advances and winter creeps towards us, I feel something like relief as well as sadness. It seems the leaves are letting go, not falling! It feels like the out-breath after the in-breath; the ebb after the flow.

.

And for the first time, I actually believe that spring and summer will come again!

I wonder if this means I'm getting old?!

.

.

.

Flow x

.

.

.

.

(© 2008 - All photos)

Cowgirls and charity shops

I've made a wonderful accidental discovery. It's like walking home in the fog 'cos you've missed the last bus, and finding a waterfall en route. Or looking up 'serious' in the dictionary and finding 'serendipity' instead. Or going to the dentist, and finding they're hosting a circus today.

I wandered into my local charity shop looking for something new to read. Something caught my eye: the silver cover was vaguely appealing, the blurb was vaguely amusing, and the title was vaguely familiar. So I handed over my 40p and took the book home.

But there's nothing even vaguely vague about 'Even Cowgirls Get the Blues'. It's as In Yer Face as a book can get, without being arrested for prostitution.

Have you read it? It's funny and rude and crazy and wise. Its plot is thin, but its ideas are profound - that Tom Robbins knows a thing or two. There's a lot of pure silliness and plenty of wanton, gratuitous sex to keep Middle England tutting. What's more, its characters are people I'd want as my friends, and it had me laughing out loud on the train and grinning broadly at strangers. It's a bumpy ride in fantastic company.

And d'you know what? It's all about go-going with the flow!

Flow x

P.S. I've just found this on boingboing.net - a surreal image of leaves that got embedded in tarmac - 'tis a kind of modern urban fossil!

When 'going with the flow' just isn't joyful enough

A few people have asked me about the title of this blog. Why 'go-go' with the flow, they ask, and not just 'go'?

'Going with the flow' is a notion most of us are familiar with, even if we're not very good at actually doing it. Going with the flow means taking life as it is, accepting what comes your way, not fighting battles that can't be won and not yearning for things that can't be had.

It's a wise idea that goes back thousands of years. There's no surer way to make yourself unhappy than to want things (that's possessions and events) that you don't have. Lao Tzu may have been the first to put it into words, in the Taoist classic the Tao Te Ching:

"There is no disaster greater than not being content; there is no
misfortune greater than being covetous... In being content, one will
always have enough" (45:105).

Now, I'm not the best person to come to if you want to learn more about going with the flow. Try websites like this instead. I often find it hard to accept things that come my way - and I'm especially likely to stomp and fight if I think something is unfair. That's one reason I didn't call this blog just 'Go with the flow'.

You see, I believe in 'the flow'. I'm quite passionate about it, really. I won't try to define 'the flow', here, because that would lead me into deep philosophical discussion, and it's too early in the morning for that! Please just let me get away with using shorthand for now and saying that I mean some kind of interconnected everythingness.

My important point is that I believe we are the flow and we make the flow.

I'm sure I don't need to work hard at convincing anyone that there is a lot of shit around. That was the subject of my very first post, and it's the reason I started this blog. But the thing is, I think that all this unpleasantness - all the war, famine, violence, cruelty, nastiness and unhappiness - is doing the psychic equivalent of polluting the flow.

We're all swimming here together, I'd like to say, so don't piss in the water!

And because I believe that we all create the flow we're floating in, I want to do my bit to make it as joyful and good as possible. I want to add laughter to the Universe, and beauty, and usefulness, and hope.

For me it's not good enough to just 'go with the flow' - I want to help that water sparkle!

So now I'm off to enjoy the sunshine, and do some go-going in today's flow! And I hope you can do the same!



Flow x

Penguins

I must just share this with you...

Penguins.

Yes, I said penguins!

As my friend Scribblemoose says, "It's hard to take life too seriously when you're watching penguins. So silly, so beautiful and so very full of joy".

Penguins, it seems to me, are absolutely the best role models for go-going with the flow! Thank you, Scribblemoose!



Video and photo - copyright to Scribblemoose 2008.

And here's a link to another fabulous piece of artistic silliness ... a melting icecream van, which I found quite by chance on Boingboing.net, which describes itself as 'a directory of wonderful things' and is apparently the most popular blog in the world!

Flow x

Pure silliness!

I have nothing sensible to say today, so I won't even try! Instead, here are some cheering thoughts, chosen more-or-less at random...

I love this sign, for instance. It's not just a health and safety warning, it's a metaphor for life. Yes, it says sensibly, life is full of challenges, so be careful. But twist your perspective slightly (the lime green might help you!) and it also shouts... "Don't let ridiculous footwear stop you going where you want!"

And this fantastic piece of artwork, which I stumbled upon in another castle, at Collioure in South-West France.

It moves as you walk through the room, and it's at least as much kite as sculpture! If anyone knows (or thinks they can guess) the artist, please let me know.













And this, um, interesting variation on a guard dog!
















And all sorts of other silly things too, like fairy wings for grown-ups, and fluffy dice, and bubbles, and the contents of this website, and - well - allsorts, of the liquorice kind. Oh, and penguins, which are soooo silly that they deserve a blog entry all of their own!



Flow x

The trouble with teens ...

My close friends already know I'm having a bit of a tough time with my teenager at the moment. He's 13, and testosterone has just begun to kick in big-time. If you remember Kevin the Teenager from the Harry Enfield sketch show in the 90s, you'll have a fair idea of what he's like on a bad day ... except there's more swearing in our house. Sometimes I wish I had a BBC sound editor living here to bleep it all out. They could join my 'fantasy parenting' team of essential support staff, along with the cleaner, the cook, the counsellor, and whoever can get here first with a large bottle of whisky.

But I don't want to give you the impression it's always Hell at home. A lot of the time he's lovely. He still talks to me (there's no grunting yet!) and he can make interesting conversation, too. He does his share of the housework, sometimes without even being asked. On my birthday, he cooked tea for the whole family - grilled salmon, new potatoes and veg - and it was delicious. And I've just eaten the fried egg sandwich that he made me for lunch, while I got on with this.

Out and about, he's usually pretty good too. Other mums tell me how helpful and sweet he is with their smaller children. Local shop-keepers regularly compliment me on my son's good manners (really and truly - I'm not making that up!). Sometimes, indeed, he is almost heroic: he carried shopping for a struggling neighbour recently, even though some other boys were watching and scoffing at him; and he jumped in the canal a couple of weeks ago to rescue someone's struggling dog.

So what am I complaining about, eh?!

Well, the flip side of this loveliness is sometimes pretty grim. School doesn't suit him, and while serious trouble is rare, there are a whole string of minor problems, and he's more likely to bring home stress than homework. Then, as well as the day-to-day stomping and Kevin-ness, there are occasional bursts of very stupid or dangerous behaviour. At the moment, for example, he and some friends are excluded from school (that's 'suspended' in old money) for bringing in a lighter and playing with fire in the sports hall. Exclusion brings a whole pile of hassle and - since he's a boy who doesn't like school anyway - it is certainly more of a punishment for me than for him.

Then there's trouble that descends and lands on him, unexpectedly. A couple of weeks ago he was robbed in the street by two thugs who threatened to kill him if he didn't hand over his 'phone. He was physically fine but we were all a bit shaken, and for me that also meant stressful conversations with the local police, the CID in the city where it happened, and the youth worker who was supposed to be looking after him at the time.

The trouble with teens, from a parent's point of view, is that it's an emotional roller-coaster. When I wake up each morning, I don't know whether to expect shouting or smiles, trauma or delight. Almost certainly, by the time I get to bed, I will have been though all of these, and a fair few other feelings too. Teenage emotions are dramatic... and my teenager seems to change like the weather, blowing through my day, leaving me storm-tossed or sunburnt!

Angel or devil - superhero or villain - or even ordinary mortal boy - it's all absolutely exhausting.

Which brings me to the real trouble with teens. There are lots and lots of rules and systems in place to control them and punish them when they do wrong, but there's very little support to help them do right. It's more-or-less all down to me, and I'm pretty much on my own. As a single parent, I find it particularly hard sometimes ... But don't get me started on absent fathers now... And I'll save my rant on how society is failing boys for another blog.

Being a parent of a teenager is certainly a lesson in learning to 'go with the flow', and I know I'm not very good at that yet! A wise friend once said, after listening to me let off steam, "Yes, it's shit, Flow ... but it doesn't have to be our shit!" And as I sit on my life-raft and watch the flotsam and jetsam and smashed-up cargo of teenage life float past me, I need to remember that a lot of it isn't his shit either.




Flow x