Hold the front page: I want some good news for a change!

I'm not superstitious, but when I opened my door at midday, I couldn't help feeling that the universe was trying to tell me something ...

Outside, the world was entirely monotone: snow fell last night, and the sun didn't make it out from behind the clouds today, so black trees were silhouetted against the white sky, and the hills were stretched out like a depressive harlequin in a suit of mottled greys. It was not inspiring.

Then - as the clock struck twelve, suddenly, simultaneously - a laggardly cockrel crowed, three dark crows circled the house opposite, and a single magpie hopped onto its roof. Omens, all. So were they warnings of misfortune? Probably.

Sometimes it feels like a bad, mad world out there.

*

I watched the news last night. That's something I try to avoid, because it's generally so miserable, and I believe it's bad for one's mental health to be constantly exposed to so much gloom. As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to the mainstream media, no news is good news.

But I watched, and I read, so now I know all sorts of grim facts about the current conflict in Gaza. The whole Gaza strip is only about 25 miles long and 5-10 miles wide, and its borders are closed and guarded, so that there is nowhere for its 1.5 million inhabitants to run to. They are sitting ducks, and almost every one of them is an innocent victim of Israel's bombardment. As of today, there are 660 dead Palestinians and 10 dead Israelis. It's tragic for everyone.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do to about it.

In the olden days when all news was local and carried by word of mouth, you could respond to bad news by doing something to help. When the only misfortune you heard about was your neighbour's, you could (as a wise friend observed) at least take round a bowl of soup. These days, the news channels tell us about global catastrophes that are entirely beyond our control, and it reinforces our sense of powerlessness. If I were a cynic, I might suggest that they do it deliberately, to create the impression that bad news is universal and unavoidable, and to make us less likely to rise up in protest and try to change the world.

Of course, we do need to know about the bad stuff, at least some of it. Oppressive regimes use reporting black-outs to hide their murderous deeds. It's no co-incidence that the BBC is banned from some countries, including Myanmar and Zimbabwe, whose government has proscribed it as a terrorist organisation. So, no, I'm not advocating that we ignore the bad news - but I would like more positive news in the mainstream, rather than hidden away in the sidelines as it is now. It seems good news is not news.

I'll bet there is more good stuff than bad stuff going on in the world - but how could we ever know?

*

Back in my own little world, I laughed at the Portents of Doom, worried for a moment about my sanity, and then on a whim called two friends whom I thought would understand and enjoy the anecdote. One of these friends has been very ill recently. The other, his partner, answered the 'phone ... and told me - hooray! - that the doctors think his cancer has gone.

The wonderful news made my day, tho' it won't make it to the front pages.

And nya nya ne nya nya to that magpie!

Flow x

More random acts of kindness, please!

I cooked tea for a friend the other day.

"Thanks", she said. "D'you know, that's the first meal anyone has cooked for me since my birthday. In fact, now I come to think of it, my birthday was the last time anyone did anything at all for me. Before that ... well, I can't remember".

I know the feeling. As a single parent, I spend a lot of my time doing things for other people - giving out and almost never receiving. I guess the same is true for a lot of parents, and a lot of single people. It can get you down.

This morning I got upset because I had to make sandwiches, help find a tie and change for the bus, get a towel for one son stranded in the shower and mop up a puddle after the other - all before 8am - and all I really wanted to do was finish my cup of tea before it got cold. Feeling sorry for myself, I started to think how nice it would be if someone would occasionally make a cup of tea for me. Nothing too ambitious... Just a cup of tea.

Everyone needs some love, attention and kindness, and if you don't get enough, it can make you very miserable.

The trouble is, once you're in the habit of giving more than you take from the world, it's a hard one to break. After a while, if your needs aren't getting met, you start to feel that they must somehow be huge and unreasonable. You become reluctant to ask other people for favours - even relatively simple ones like "Would you give me an hour off from the kids?" or "Please rub my shoulders for me" or "Can I have a cup of tea?" - because you worry that maybe you're being greedy. Or worse, you worry the person you ask might say 'no', and you're not sure you could handle the rejection.

Some people get their needs met by paying for them. I know plenty of people who pay for babysitters and restaurant meals and massages, and one or two have even admitted to paying for sex. But other people find it difficult and upsetting to pay for things they'd really like to be given as treats, maybe because it feeds a feeling that no-one loves them enough to do it for free.

But unmet needs grow and grow. Before long, you may even find you're not meeting any of your own needs. Maybe you know it would make you feel good to have a long bath, go for a run, meet up with friends, sing, bonk, dance, sleep more, eat better ... but you just can't seem to get round to it. You've forgotten how to be kind to yourself. Next stop, depression.

Our society just isn't a happy place right now. It's hard to escape the conclusion that nationally, maybe even globally, we've neglected our need for love, attention, enjoyment and kindness so long that we've forgotten how meet our own needs for these things.

Let's break the pattern. The peace activist and off-beat, inspiring, crazy thinker Anne Herbert recommends 'making generous trouble'. Like she says, "We could maybe go outside and meet and act like we're not jerks, like we're imaginative and creative and generous".

So, whenever you can, whenever you think of it, practice random kindness. Do something for someone else, without being asked. Cook a meal, smile at a stranger, leave something pretty on the bus, drop a fiver. If you need other ideas, have a look at this list, or google 'random acts of kindness' for more.

And remember, kindness isn't difficult; it's just something we've forgotten to do often enough. You can make a start with me, if you like. Nothing too ambitious ... just a cup of tea!

Flow x

Remember hope, remember joy?!

We're living in weird times. All sorts of things seem to be teetering on the edge. I was going to say, balancing on some sort of threshold between bad and good, but it's sometimes hard to escape the impression that bad is likely to tip over into badder-than-bad.

Politically, socially, personally - and of course seasonally - it feels like things are sure to change, and as so many people seem to be saying at the moment, "Things will get worse before they get better".

Blimey!

If you've been listening to the UK news recently, you will have been fed a miserable diet of war, economic crisis, bank collapse, BBC presenter scandals, 'yob culture' and the 'youth problem', and you probably have indigestion by now. The chances are, aspects of your own life seem to echo these depressing headlines. My own tally of gloom this week includes a sore throat, a contract I didn't get, my thirteen year old son getting robbed, and hearing that a dear friend has colon cancer. Even the weather seems to be in on the conspiracy: we had a disappointing summer, now we're gripped by a grey, bleak autumn, and we have months of winter still ahead.

Rain or blizzard, trouble or collapse, unhappiness or total misery: these seem to be our doom and gloom options!

And yet ...

And yet, there are some signs of hope. Some of these are relatively small comforts - like the sun coming out this morning so that I saw a patch of blue for the first time in a week. Some are small but important - like the marvellous fact that my son wasn't hurt when his 'phone was taken, and we found him a new, better one on eBay last night for only a tenner!

And yes, some things - YAY! - are big, fat, juicy causes for hope. This week, as you will certainly know (unless you have been on retreat or held hostage somewhere very isolated*), America elected a new president who has inspired millions to vote who had never voted before, and who offers hope and a new positivity. Whatever we want to do or dream, Barack Obama says, "Yes, we CAN". My 8 year old heard his victory speech and said "that sounds like a poem" - and politicians who speak poetry are an excellent reason for hope, if you ask me!

Now, I'm a glass-half-full kinda woman. My occasional episodes of anxiety and depression (yes, I'm one of the one-in-four) have been stress-related and a reaction to horrible things - where anxiety and depression, frankly, were the sanest responses. But, generally speaking, I'm contented and cheerful, and I always prefer to look on the bright side of life.

But sometimes it's hard to be cheerful, amid all this doom and gloom. Sometimes it's hard to remember about the sunshine, and the blue sky, and (bloody hell, I'm beginning to sound like Fotherington-Thomas!) poetry - even the poetry of politicians!

Sometimes I need reminding about the good stuff.

So that's what this blog is all about: it's for silly stuff, stuff that makes me laugh. It's for beautiful images, words and sounds. And it's for serious stuff, ideas and thoughts that give me inspiration. But most of all, it's a record of my day-to-day attempts to remember hope and remember joy!

OK, so I'm not always so good at going with the flow (as kind friends sometimes remind me!) ... but meanwhile - oh yeah! - I'm determined at least to go-go with the flow!

Wanna come dancing with me?!

Flow x

*By sheep, say, in a small village in the Pennines with no digital TV signal and generally appalling telecommunications! ;-)