An important truth about girls in red hoods (and wolves)

I went to a story-telling event last night. The Devil's Violin was a fabulous, powerful mix of tale and music. Its passions were part gypsy, part Celtic, part Eastern European... and all magic and mystery!

It reminded me that, though I have been telling tales to tots this autumn, it has been quite a while since I told one of my grown-up stories - one of my Fairy Tales for Middle Age.

So...

Are you sitting comfortably?

Once upon a time (you know how it goes), there was a girl who lived on the edge of a forest with her mother, not far from her granny’s house. This girl was young and pretty and cool, and she had a top with a red hood – and it was not just any old red, either, but a fabulous, flaming crimson!

Now, a red hoody may be okay to wear in the city (wicked!) but it’s a bit of a liability for a girl in a rural area. It makes her rather too conspicuous. We know for sure that this lass is going to attract attention, and probably get herself into a spot or two of bother. R-E-D spells Trouble, with a capital T.

One day, Red’s mother sent her to her granny’s with some lunch in a basket, and some stern Laying-Down-the-Law words about staying on the path, avoiding poisonous mushrooms and all sorts of other dangers (yada yada, yeah yeah - you’ve heard it all before!) and Not Talking To Strangers.

Well, you know, Ma could have saved her breath, ‘cos Red – like any girl dressed so symbolically – couldn’t, or wouldn’t, quash her curiosity. Everything caught her attention: birds and butterflies, spiders and slugs, favourite flowers and unfamiliar fungi, strange smells and intriguing noises through the trees. She soon wandered off the path …

… And, pretty soon, of course, Red met a WOLF.

The Wolf was huge, hairy and scary, sharp-toothed and dangerous … but also (you know it’s true!) very interesting … and more-than-a-little exciting. So Red just couldn’t resist it: she chatted with the Wolf. And where’s the harm, eh, in just a few words … and maybe a teeny, weeny bit of flirtation?

And the Wolf (did I say he was smart, too?) didn’t ask any suspicious questions or make any inappropriate suggestions at all. So Red was soon happy to tell him exactly what she was doing and where she was going. You may say she was naïve; but personally, I’d say she rather wanted to Play with Fire …

Soooo … Red and the Wolf agreed to race. And before long (let’s cut to the chase like the Wolf) granny is gone – all eaten up – and Red and the Wolf are going through that well-known What-Big-Eyes/Ears/Teeth-You-Have routine.

And there’s Red, leaning over the bed - leaning over the wolf - staring intently into his deep, dark eyes …

Just beginning to wonder (I’ll bet!) whether teeth like that can possibly have Honourable Intentions …

… When – TA RAAA! …

In rushes the Woodcutter – dressed for action - axe in hand – and chops off the Wolf’s head! Whizz, thump!

“You’re safe now!” crows the Woodcutter. (And perhaps we can forgive him for feeling just a little bit smug and self-satisfied, under the circumstances).

However …

“You idiot!” retorted Red (unexpectedly, you may think). “You blithering, blinking idiot!” (tho' I’m afraid she may have been less polite). “I had the situation totally under control!”

“But - but -” spluttered the woodcutter, inarticulately.

“Wolves get a bad press,” the furious Red continued, “They’re not as tough as they make out. I could’ve handled him! And in any case – it was my problem, and you should’ve left me to sort it out!

“I – I – ” spluttered the woodcutter, still lost for words (and let’s face it, he’s only a secondary character, and he’s lucky to have any kind of speaking part at all).

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you people need to learn to deal with their own mistakes?!” demanded Red.

But the woodcutter (who had never watched daytime TV or read Iron John) just scratched his head and said nothing.

“Don’t you realise,” Red ranted on, “How important it is for me to learn to deal with wolves myself?! After all, my family has a history of dysfunctional behaviour when it comes to wolves, y’know – and I don’t want to repeat their mistakes!

"My Mum can’t cope with ‘em at all: she’s too scared even to leave the path! And look at Granny! She never learned to handle ‘em either: she was so scared she took to her bed! But she couldn’t even recognise one when it crawled in beside her, and you know what happened to her!”

And Red turned sadly to gaze at the undeniably nasty mess on the bed.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful”, she said at last, “But wolves can’t be avoided. You have to learn to deal with them. And now that you have deprived me of an Important Learning Experience, I am just gonna have to go out and find more wolves, aren’t I? It’s a hassle”.

So she did.

And although we shall never know what happened to her, we can be pretty sure some of it was Trouble, and I think it’s quite possible she got eaten in the end. But it's certain that things happened to her along the way – which is, without a doubt, what any girl with a Red Hood wants.

Flow x

© 2008

Spread some warmth!

Eee but it's cold out there - look at the frost! (This was on the bonnet of a car we passed on the way to school yesterday).

How-so-ever, out of the blue, I have received two little nuggets of cosmic warmth; real chestnuts of unexpected and un-asked-for positivity!

The first was from someone who enjoyed a comment I'd left on a bulletin board. Though we'd never met or even talked, he emailed me just to say "Thanks for the humour!"

The second was another email, this time from a guy called Chris who runs the Facebook group 'Optimists Unite! Freedom for Happiness!'. He sent round a message to group members, just to spread some love. Here's part of it:

"I wonder if you realise, just how beautiful you are? Without you, the world would be incomplete. If you've ever felt alone, then you'll know how important it is to show how much you care. If you've ever felt helpless, then you know how it is to feel alone.

"The whole is always greater than the sum of its parts. We're all here for each other, and together we are stronger. Don't let lies tear us apart and weaken our resolve. Let truth bring us together so that we can truly evolve.

"Honesty is Love for yourself. Truth is love for others. Be true to yourself and honest to the people around you, and great things shall befall you... for you are sublime.

"The truth is... you are beautiful. You are the most caring, understanding, and wise person I know. I know this because I only know one... I know myself, and I know that we are of the same spirit, devoid of ego.

"Love yourself unconditionally: Heal the spirit. Love others unconditionally: Heal the world".

How wonderful it felt to be given some appreciation, optimism and inspiration when I least expected it. What's more, I'd been having a down-patch, and was more-than-ever in need of some warmth.... And along came these guys, helping to re-ignite a little spark of spirit! They were certainly making the flow more sparkly!

It gave me a boost of energy, and I was able to pass on some of the positivity to other people, through my own little acts of appreciation. Maybe this post will do the same for you. Go on ... Tell someone you know that they are wonderful ... I dare you!

Flow x

The end of flat-packs and pick'n'mix

Bear with me today, folks: this blog starts with misery, and moves on through rant, but it ends with some hope!

So, Woolworths and MFI have gone bust.

It's big news, and it has put the wind up a lot of people. And indeed, it's hard to imagine the high street without Woolies or the retail park without MFI, isn't it? A Britain without flat-packs and pick'n'mix!

These retail giants follow the Banks, as the latest victims of the credit crunch. And it seems likely that they won't be the only ones: PC World and Comet are apparently at risk too. "Weep for Woolies" says the BBC's political editor Robert Peston today, rather too sentimentally for my liking. Personally, I don't give a toss for the corporate casualties. It's the human casualties I'm sorry for: at least 30,000 individuals will lose their jobs as these companies go bust. And they will suffer all the more, no doubt, because almost all of them are already in debt.

Now beware, listen to the sirens blaring: here is a Rant Alert!

The trouble is, for the past decade or more, we've built our whole society on credit. Almost all of us do it: mortgages, loans, overdrafts, hire purchase, credit deals, credit cards, store cards ... we've got into the habit of casually building up debt. We've got so used to it that we don't even think any more about what credit really is. Let me spell it out: credit is money we haven't got.

If that's not shocking enough, here's something worse: the collapse of the banks and big business makes it frighteningly clear that they, too, have too much debt and not enough money. And if we haven't got the money, and they haven't got the money, then there's only one conclusion to draw: the money isn't there!

Yup, this is the bizarre truth behind the credit crunch: we have all been spending non-existent money! No wonder we're in trouble!

But this (at last!) is where I begin to feel the little first flickering flame of hope.

Andrew Lansley wasn't allowed to say it but I can (I am not a Tory politician AND I earn a lot less than the UK average wage, so I can say what I want) ... Recession might be good for us.

Of course, it's going to be Bad for many individuals. It's going to be Bad for those who lose their jobs or their houses. It's going to be Bad for those who suffer with stress and stress-related illnesses. And I'm sorry for all of them.

But maybe, just maybe, there will be some Good side-effects.

You see, I think we've been spending money we haven't got (and that's never a good thing) on things we don't need. So many of us have got into the habit of believing we need that second car, or that conservatory extension, or those designer clothes, or those packaged ready meals, or that wide-screen telly, or that extra games console ... and we don't. Really, we don't.

Now, I'm not a puritan. I'm all for splurging on wine and chocs and holidays and fun and beautiful things. And I wouldn't complain - not for one moment - about all this unnecessary consumption if it was doing any good or making people happy, but it isn't.

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Huge numbers of people - probably the majority - work in jobs they hate to pay for these things that they don't need. Huge numbers of people are perpetually anxious, worrying about whether they can re-pay the credit they have accumulated. Huge numbers of people are miserable, and all their extra possessions do not make them happier.

So maybe, just maybe, as the recession bites and we have less money to spend, some of us will wake up and remember: "Hey: money won't buy me happiness, and money can't buy me love!"

.

And if so (since I'm really a hippy and anarchist at heart) then I say maybe this credit crunch will be the end of the world as we know it... But I'll feel fine! Because a Britain without flat-pack and pick'n'mix is hard to imagine right now, but it might just be a better one!

Flow x

Mushrooms, mists and musings

I don't much like autumn, usually.

It never feels like a season of mists and mellow fruitfulness to me. It's too depressing. All that rain, decay and darkness. When all hope of a late Indian summer has gone, I feel bereft - almost betrayed; and when the clocks go back, I rage, rage against the dying of the light.

But this year something seems to have changed. I am looking at autumn with different eyes.

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Suddenly, the colours seem incredibly beautiful, and the sky seems higher, and the cold seems (what's the word?) brazen - like it is daring us to shake our heads and wake up.

.

If you look at my pics, I hope you'll see what I mean.

For the first time, as autumn advances and winter creeps towards us, I feel something like relief as well as sadness. It seems the leaves are letting go, not falling! It feels like the out-breath after the in-breath; the ebb after the flow.

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And for the first time, I actually believe that spring and summer will come again!

I wonder if this means I'm getting old?!

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Flow x

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(© 2008 - All photos)

Cowgirls and charity shops

I've made a wonderful accidental discovery. It's like walking home in the fog 'cos you've missed the last bus, and finding a waterfall en route. Or looking up 'serious' in the dictionary and finding 'serendipity' instead. Or going to the dentist, and finding they're hosting a circus today.

I wandered into my local charity shop looking for something new to read. Something caught my eye: the silver cover was vaguely appealing, the blurb was vaguely amusing, and the title was vaguely familiar. So I handed over my 40p and took the book home.

But there's nothing even vaguely vague about 'Even Cowgirls Get the Blues'. It's as In Yer Face as a book can get, without being arrested for prostitution.

Have you read it? It's funny and rude and crazy and wise. Its plot is thin, but its ideas are profound - that Tom Robbins knows a thing or two. There's a lot of pure silliness and plenty of wanton, gratuitous sex to keep Middle England tutting. What's more, its characters are people I'd want as my friends, and it had me laughing out loud on the train and grinning broadly at strangers. It's a bumpy ride in fantastic company.

And d'you know what? It's all about go-going with the flow!

Flow x

P.S. I've just found this on boingboing.net - a surreal image of leaves that got embedded in tarmac - 'tis a kind of modern urban fossil!

When 'going with the flow' just isn't joyful enough

A few people have asked me about the title of this blog. Why 'go-go' with the flow, they ask, and not just 'go'?

'Going with the flow' is a notion most of us are familiar with, even if we're not very good at actually doing it. Going with the flow means taking life as it is, accepting what comes your way, not fighting battles that can't be won and not yearning for things that can't be had.

It's a wise idea that goes back thousands of years. There's no surer way to make yourself unhappy than to want things (that's possessions and events) that you don't have. Lao Tzu may have been the first to put it into words, in the Taoist classic the Tao Te Ching:

"There is no disaster greater than not being content; there is no
misfortune greater than being covetous... In being content, one will
always have enough" (45:105).

Now, I'm not the best person to come to if you want to learn more about going with the flow. Try websites like this instead. I often find it hard to accept things that come my way - and I'm especially likely to stomp and fight if I think something is unfair. That's one reason I didn't call this blog just 'Go with the flow'.

You see, I believe in 'the flow'. I'm quite passionate about it, really. I won't try to define 'the flow', here, because that would lead me into deep philosophical discussion, and it's too early in the morning for that! Please just let me get away with using shorthand for now and saying that I mean some kind of interconnected everythingness.

My important point is that I believe we are the flow and we make the flow.

I'm sure I don't need to work hard at convincing anyone that there is a lot of shit around. That was the subject of my very first post, and it's the reason I started this blog. But the thing is, I think that all this unpleasantness - all the war, famine, violence, cruelty, nastiness and unhappiness - is doing the psychic equivalent of polluting the flow.

We're all swimming here together, I'd like to say, so don't piss in the water!

And because I believe that we all create the flow we're floating in, I want to do my bit to make it as joyful and good as possible. I want to add laughter to the Universe, and beauty, and usefulness, and hope.

For me it's not good enough to just 'go with the flow' - I want to help that water sparkle!

So now I'm off to enjoy the sunshine, and do some go-going in today's flow! And I hope you can do the same!



Flow x

Penguins

I must just share this with you...

Penguins.

Yes, I said penguins!

As my friend Scribblemoose says, "It's hard to take life too seriously when you're watching penguins. So silly, so beautiful and so very full of joy".

Penguins, it seems to me, are absolutely the best role models for go-going with the flow! Thank you, Scribblemoose!



Video and photo - copyright to Scribblemoose 2008.

And here's a link to another fabulous piece of artistic silliness ... a melting icecream van, which I found quite by chance on Boingboing.net, which describes itself as 'a directory of wonderful things' and is apparently the most popular blog in the world!

Flow x

Pure silliness!

I have nothing sensible to say today, so I won't even try! Instead, here are some cheering thoughts, chosen more-or-less at random...

I love this sign, for instance. It's not just a health and safety warning, it's a metaphor for life. Yes, it says sensibly, life is full of challenges, so be careful. But twist your perspective slightly (the lime green might help you!) and it also shouts... "Don't let ridiculous footwear stop you going where you want!"

And this fantastic piece of artwork, which I stumbled upon in another castle, at Collioure in South-West France.

It moves as you walk through the room, and it's at least as much kite as sculpture! If anyone knows (or thinks they can guess) the artist, please let me know.













And this, um, interesting variation on a guard dog!
















And all sorts of other silly things too, like fairy wings for grown-ups, and fluffy dice, and bubbles, and the contents of this website, and - well - allsorts, of the liquorice kind. Oh, and penguins, which are soooo silly that they deserve a blog entry all of their own!



Flow x

The trouble with teens ...

My close friends already know I'm having a bit of a tough time with my teenager at the moment. He's 13, and testosterone has just begun to kick in big-time. If you remember Kevin the Teenager from the Harry Enfield sketch show in the 90s, you'll have a fair idea of what he's like on a bad day ... except there's more swearing in our house. Sometimes I wish I had a BBC sound editor living here to bleep it all out. They could join my 'fantasy parenting' team of essential support staff, along with the cleaner, the cook, the counsellor, and whoever can get here first with a large bottle of whisky.

But I don't want to give you the impression it's always Hell at home. A lot of the time he's lovely. He still talks to me (there's no grunting yet!) and he can make interesting conversation, too. He does his share of the housework, sometimes without even being asked. On my birthday, he cooked tea for the whole family - grilled salmon, new potatoes and veg - and it was delicious. And I've just eaten the fried egg sandwich that he made me for lunch, while I got on with this.

Out and about, he's usually pretty good too. Other mums tell me how helpful and sweet he is with their smaller children. Local shop-keepers regularly compliment me on my son's good manners (really and truly - I'm not making that up!). Sometimes, indeed, he is almost heroic: he carried shopping for a struggling neighbour recently, even though some other boys were watching and scoffing at him; and he jumped in the canal a couple of weeks ago to rescue someone's struggling dog.

So what am I complaining about, eh?!

Well, the flip side of this loveliness is sometimes pretty grim. School doesn't suit him, and while serious trouble is rare, there are a whole string of minor problems, and he's more likely to bring home stress than homework. Then, as well as the day-to-day stomping and Kevin-ness, there are occasional bursts of very stupid or dangerous behaviour. At the moment, for example, he and some friends are excluded from school (that's 'suspended' in old money) for bringing in a lighter and playing with fire in the sports hall. Exclusion brings a whole pile of hassle and - since he's a boy who doesn't like school anyway - it is certainly more of a punishment for me than for him.

Then there's trouble that descends and lands on him, unexpectedly. A couple of weeks ago he was robbed in the street by two thugs who threatened to kill him if he didn't hand over his 'phone. He was physically fine but we were all a bit shaken, and for me that also meant stressful conversations with the local police, the CID in the city where it happened, and the youth worker who was supposed to be looking after him at the time.

The trouble with teens, from a parent's point of view, is that it's an emotional roller-coaster. When I wake up each morning, I don't know whether to expect shouting or smiles, trauma or delight. Almost certainly, by the time I get to bed, I will have been though all of these, and a fair few other feelings too. Teenage emotions are dramatic... and my teenager seems to change like the weather, blowing through my day, leaving me storm-tossed or sunburnt!

Angel or devil - superhero or villain - or even ordinary mortal boy - it's all absolutely exhausting.

Which brings me to the real trouble with teens. There are lots and lots of rules and systems in place to control them and punish them when they do wrong, but there's very little support to help them do right. It's more-or-less all down to me, and I'm pretty much on my own. As a single parent, I find it particularly hard sometimes ... But don't get me started on absent fathers now... And I'll save my rant on how society is failing boys for another blog.

Being a parent of a teenager is certainly a lesson in learning to 'go with the flow', and I know I'm not very good at that yet! A wise friend once said, after listening to me let off steam, "Yes, it's shit, Flow ... but it doesn't have to be our shit!" And as I sit on my life-raft and watch the flotsam and jetsam and smashed-up cargo of teenage life float past me, I need to remember that a lot of it isn't his shit either.




Flow x

More random acts of kindness, please!

I cooked tea for a friend the other day.

"Thanks", she said. "D'you know, that's the first meal anyone has cooked for me since my birthday. In fact, now I come to think of it, my birthday was the last time anyone did anything at all for me. Before that ... well, I can't remember".

I know the feeling. As a single parent, I spend a lot of my time doing things for other people - giving out and almost never receiving. I guess the same is true for a lot of parents, and a lot of single people. It can get you down.

This morning I got upset because I had to make sandwiches, help find a tie and change for the bus, get a towel for one son stranded in the shower and mop up a puddle after the other - all before 8am - and all I really wanted to do was finish my cup of tea before it got cold. Feeling sorry for myself, I started to think how nice it would be if someone would occasionally make a cup of tea for me. Nothing too ambitious... Just a cup of tea.

Everyone needs some love, attention and kindness, and if you don't get enough, it can make you very miserable.

The trouble is, once you're in the habit of giving more than you take from the world, it's a hard one to break. After a while, if your needs aren't getting met, you start to feel that they must somehow be huge and unreasonable. You become reluctant to ask other people for favours - even relatively simple ones like "Would you give me an hour off from the kids?" or "Please rub my shoulders for me" or "Can I have a cup of tea?" - because you worry that maybe you're being greedy. Or worse, you worry the person you ask might say 'no', and you're not sure you could handle the rejection.

Some people get their needs met by paying for them. I know plenty of people who pay for babysitters and restaurant meals and massages, and one or two have even admitted to paying for sex. But other people find it difficult and upsetting to pay for things they'd really like to be given as treats, maybe because it feeds a feeling that no-one loves them enough to do it for free.

But unmet needs grow and grow. Before long, you may even find you're not meeting any of your own needs. Maybe you know it would make you feel good to have a long bath, go for a run, meet up with friends, sing, bonk, dance, sleep more, eat better ... but you just can't seem to get round to it. You've forgotten how to be kind to yourself. Next stop, depression.

Our society just isn't a happy place right now. It's hard to escape the conclusion that nationally, maybe even globally, we've neglected our need for love, attention, enjoyment and kindness so long that we've forgotten how meet our own needs for these things.

Let's break the pattern. The peace activist and off-beat, inspiring, crazy thinker Anne Herbert recommends 'making generous trouble'. Like she says, "We could maybe go outside and meet and act like we're not jerks, like we're imaginative and creative and generous".

So, whenever you can, whenever you think of it, practice random kindness. Do something for someone else, without being asked. Cook a meal, smile at a stranger, leave something pretty on the bus, drop a fiver. If you need other ideas, have a look at this list, or google 'random acts of kindness' for more.

And remember, kindness isn't difficult; it's just something we've forgotten to do often enough. You can make a start with me, if you like. Nothing too ambitious ... just a cup of tea!

Flow x

If the grown-ups can't play nicely, don't blame the kids

So, where do you stand on the Ross-Brand-Sachs affair?

I know this probably feels like old news by now, but yesterday, the BBC broadcast an apology during the Radio 2 slots that would usually be filled by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, and today the Mail is leading with yet another finger-wagging story. And I won't sleep tonight unless I get some things off my chest!

So, are you outraged that two highly-paid presenters sank to such abuse in the name of comedy? Do you see their on-air swearing and rambling as the thin edge of a moral decline? Do you see it as proof the disrespect of the young - yet another symptom of 'yob culture'? Are you one of the 37,000 or so people who have complained to the BBC?

Or did you think the broadcast was funny? Are you angry that shows you love have been pulled from the air? Do you see the 'official' reactions as a threat to artistic freedom, or even an attack on freedom of speech? Are you shocked that the BBC gave in to tabloid pressure? Are you one of the 53,300 people who have so far joined the biggest Facebook support group?

And the million dollar question: have you actually listened to the controversial broadcast or recordings of it? If you answered 'yes' to any of the above questions, I bloody well hope so!

Personally, I am pretty much bored with the details of this individual case. Although clearly, mistakes were made and offense was given, I don't believe these were as important as millions of other mistakes and offenses that fill our world. Like war, poverty and global debt, say. Or Jeremy Clarkson and Bruce Forsyth.

But I can't stop thinking about it, because so many of the reactions - especially the Mail's vitriol, but also many of the comments on online discussion boards - seem to be part of Britain's favourite passtime, Youth Bashing. (And leave aside the inconvenient fact that Brand and Ross are hardly young!)

Look what happens, they seem to say, when we let the kids out to play. Young people are out of control and anti-social. They're yobs, and they need punishing.

Now, I'm not here to defend Ross and Brand. Personally, I did find bits of the broadcast funny, but that's because I have a twisted sense of humour. But I happen to think they were doing exactly what they were employed to do: of course 'cutting edge' performers risk going over the edge from time to time; that's why we need editors.

Ross and Brand were improvising - joy-riding on the flow rather than going with it - with no regard for the possible crash victims. And of course the BBC deliberately employs a whole posse of 'boy racers', of whom Ross and Brand are only two. Punishing them when they push the limits feels like entrapment. Imagine what would happen if the police removed all the speed cameras, filled the petrol tanks of some fast shiny cars and left them empty by the side of the road, engines running. Do you think the boy racers would breaks laws? Oh yes!

And it really galls me that the Daily Mail is, above all, a rag for aging boy racers. Despite all their complaining and raging at the 'yob culture', they still lead campaigns against speed cameras and higher petrol prices. No-one enjoys a bit of finger-wagging more than those who, secretly or unconsciously, envy those they wag their fingers at. I know I'm saying nothing new here, but their hatred and hypocricy are hard to stomach.

I am very deeply worried by our culture of Youth Bashing. It is unfair and unhealthy. It is devisive and dangerous. It's no wonder that Britain's young people are the unhappiest in the Western world.

I don't deny there's a problem. I accept that some kids are out of control and there are some nasty little so-and-sos about. There are of course also lots and lots of lovely children around, and everyone knows that young people are more likely to be victims of crime than perpetrators (my son got mugged last week, remember). But no-one who spends any time with children will deny that lots of them seem to have problems with playing nicely.

So here's my theory, my Big Idea: we've forgotten how to play. Not all of us, maybe, but most. Adults have got so serious that all recreations - even so-called games - have become things that must have a purpose: you do an evening class to 'improve yourself', you play squash or football 'to keep fit' or join a club for 'networking' - rather than for enjoyment. When did you last do something that was purely for fun?

If you can answer that question, then you're one of the lucky ones. I bet many people reading this can't. And if so many of the grown-ups have forgotten how to play, no wonder some of the kids have never learned.

So here's what I recommend: do something silly, and soon! Do it today, or tomorrow; don't put it off any longer. Do something that you will enjoy, and preferably something that will make you laugh a low-down, wicked belly laugh!

And maybe if the grown-ups begin to have some fun again, they'll stop finger-wagging at the kids.

Flow x

P.S. If you think I'm exaggerating the way this debate has polarized and
personalized into youth-bashing, listen to just a few of the comments posted on the Daily Mails' discussion board:

"How many are actually old enough to pay for their own tv licences, like the rest of us who complained? Grow up" (the_historian)

"You're ... one of the knuckle dragging troglydites. And with your date of birth being so recent in this unenlightened age ,coupled with your use of the term "bring it on", you are obvioulsy still but a child hence you don't know any better" (straddle)

"Let´s all blame Ross´s mother for his disgusting behaviour and his father (if he ever had one)" (maztheraz)

"It is no wonder we have foul mouthed, feral kids roaming the streets, when
they are weaned on a diet of broadcasted filth, unchecked or corrected by
equally 'brainwashed' parents" (imself)

And the BBC's own discussion boards also have plenty of people blaming the youth and 'popular' culture - although perhaps less crudely:

"Last month I had some kids throw a brick through my car windscreen 'for
a laugh'... I wasn't laughing and neither it seems is Sachs. Perhaps this
attitude: by 'entertainers' earning more in a week than I earn in a year explain
why kids think mindless, distressing acts are acceptable" (peter_sym).

"People who live on a diet of junk food and pop frequently end up being fat. My question is, do people who continually feed their minds with pap and pop often end up with fat heads?" (supportthesuperbra).

The sun HAS got its hat on!

Don't you just love it when the doom-mongers are wrong?!

First up is the weather forecaster on Thursday, who told me I could expect heavy rain again today. But as I write, I'm looking out my window at the blue sky and fast-scudding white clouds of a perfect autumn day ... well, HAH!

And just a couple of months ago, plenty of heavy-weight commentators were saying Obama couldn't win the US presidential elections, whether because of his race or because some other dirt could be dished that would spoil his chances ... well, HAH again!

And then there are those famous - or infamous - gloomy brickbats. Like the IBM chairman who, in 1943, so modestly speculated "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers". Or the DECCA music company executive who rejected the Beatles demo in 1962, saying "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out". Or - perhaps the most pessimistic prediction of all time - the World Health report in 1989 that claimed "There will be one million cases of AIDS in Britain by 1991". In fact there were around 8,000.

Why DO we seem to have got into such miserable habits? It's time for some more GOOD news stories! There are a few US sites, of which the best (by which I mean least schmaltzy and/or religious) seems to be http://www.happynews.com/, but I haven't found a British or European equivalent.

So here are my headlines... They're all TRUE, though it's just possible that not all of them made the national news.

• Mortgage rates now lowest since 1965!
  
• Youth rescues trapped dog by jumping in canal!


• Thief sends apology and £100, years after stealing cigs!


• "Tiggers Don't Like Honey" sketch fetches £31K at auction!
  

And if your taste for good news stories stetches as far as a willingness to listen to semi-amateur rock bands, then you might like to check out 'Canary Wolf' http://www.myspace.com/canarywolf . Their new song 'Credit Crunch' is at least as much about carrots as finance. As their lead singer says "It's not the end of the world, is it? There's benefits. We were all — myself included — spending money on things we didn't need".

They certainly know how to go-go with the flow!



Flow x

Remember hope, remember joy?!

We're living in weird times. All sorts of things seem to be teetering on the edge. I was going to say, balancing on some sort of threshold between bad and good, but it's sometimes hard to escape the impression that bad is likely to tip over into badder-than-bad.

Politically, socially, personally - and of course seasonally - it feels like things are sure to change, and as so many people seem to be saying at the moment, "Things will get worse before they get better".

Blimey!

If you've been listening to the UK news recently, you will have been fed a miserable diet of war, economic crisis, bank collapse, BBC presenter scandals, 'yob culture' and the 'youth problem', and you probably have indigestion by now. The chances are, aspects of your own life seem to echo these depressing headlines. My own tally of gloom this week includes a sore throat, a contract I didn't get, my thirteen year old son getting robbed, and hearing that a dear friend has colon cancer. Even the weather seems to be in on the conspiracy: we had a disappointing summer, now we're gripped by a grey, bleak autumn, and we have months of winter still ahead.

Rain or blizzard, trouble or collapse, unhappiness or total misery: these seem to be our doom and gloom options!

And yet ...

And yet, there are some signs of hope. Some of these are relatively small comforts - like the sun coming out this morning so that I saw a patch of blue for the first time in a week. Some are small but important - like the marvellous fact that my son wasn't hurt when his 'phone was taken, and we found him a new, better one on eBay last night for only a tenner!

And yes, some things - YAY! - are big, fat, juicy causes for hope. This week, as you will certainly know (unless you have been on retreat or held hostage somewhere very isolated*), America elected a new president who has inspired millions to vote who had never voted before, and who offers hope and a new positivity. Whatever we want to do or dream, Barack Obama says, "Yes, we CAN". My 8 year old heard his victory speech and said "that sounds like a poem" - and politicians who speak poetry are an excellent reason for hope, if you ask me!

Now, I'm a glass-half-full kinda woman. My occasional episodes of anxiety and depression (yes, I'm one of the one-in-four) have been stress-related and a reaction to horrible things - where anxiety and depression, frankly, were the sanest responses. But, generally speaking, I'm contented and cheerful, and I always prefer to look on the bright side of life.

But sometimes it's hard to be cheerful, amid all this doom and gloom. Sometimes it's hard to remember about the sunshine, and the blue sky, and (bloody hell, I'm beginning to sound like Fotherington-Thomas!) poetry - even the poetry of politicians!

Sometimes I need reminding about the good stuff.

So that's what this blog is all about: it's for silly stuff, stuff that makes me laugh. It's for beautiful images, words and sounds. And it's for serious stuff, ideas and thoughts that give me inspiration. But most of all, it's a record of my day-to-day attempts to remember hope and remember joy!

OK, so I'm not always so good at going with the flow (as kind friends sometimes remind me!) ... but meanwhile - oh yeah! - I'm determined at least to go-go with the flow!

Wanna come dancing with me?!

Flow x

*By sheep, say, in a small village in the Pennines with no digital TV signal and generally appalling telecommunications! ;-)