Happiness is contagious!

It's official - happiness is catching!

A new study, carried out by Harvard Medical School and published last week in the British Medical Journal, found that people who are surrounded by happy people are more likely to be happy themselves.

This means that YOU are more likely to be happy if you have a happy spouse, happy neighbours, and happy friends who live near by!

The researchers used a technique called 'social network analysis' to find out who was friends with whom, and how this related to how happy each person felt. Like all research, the study has its strengths and weaknesses, but overall the findings are significant and reliable, as well as cheering!

The more happy people you know, the happier you are likely to be; and the nearer those people are to you, the bigger the happiness-effect will be.

It seems that communities have an important role in making individuals happy. As the researchers themselves say, there is now "further justification for seeing happiness, like health, as a collective phenomenon". This chimes with other research this year which suggested a new formula for happy communities: Neighbourliness + Empowerment = Wellbeing.

Now, although we may be encouraged to go out and find lots of happy people to surround ourselves with, this equation is also a reminder that happiness isn't everything. I'm sure we all know a grouchy-but-supportive neighbour or relative - the sort of person who's good in a crisis, who'll help when your pipes burst in the middle of the night, or when you need an emergency babysitter. Also, those random acts of kindness that spread so much happiness can even be carried out by someone in a bad mood. (Bus drivers specialise in this, I find!)

And of course, more often than not, you make yourself happy when you spread happiness. You'll all know the feeling: you start out miserable, but then you do something kind and spread a little happiness - and soon you feel much better!

Yes, happiness spreads like the 'flu ... and 'though we're most likely to catch it from our friends, sometimes even a misery-guts can pass it on!






Flow x

No clangers from the Clangers!

There was a sad bit of news today: Oliver Postgate - the creator of the 1970s children's TV classics The Clangers, Bagpuss, Noggin the Nog and Ivor the Engine - has died.

If you're my sort of age, you will probably remember the Clangers and their swanee whistle voices, and the gargley Soup Dragon (and all those other programmes too), with very fond nostalgia. I was four when the Clangers started, and I loved them. Their gentleness, music, and liking for strange contraptions seeped into my consciousness - I identified with them and wanted to be a Clanger too!

Now the BBC has released a fragment from a missing Clangers' episode, and re-awoken great memories. This was the last-ever Clangers programme, and was a four minute election special broadcast on October 10, 1974. It was considered controversial (What, politics in children's telly? How appalling!) and has never been shown since.

As I remember, the Clangers lived in a kind of peaceful anarchy - arguably much preferable to any political system known to us today! In the fragment, the narrator tries to explain politics to the incredulous Clangers, who shake their heads in disbelief at it all. And their episode Treasure is a parable about how very silly it is to get obsessed with money!

So let's call on the BBC to release the whole of the 'missing' episode. Perhaps the Clangers have some wisdom that will get us out of our current economic and political messes!

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Flow x

Why yes, I do occasionally just burst out in song!

This morning I was fed up: I had to get up in the dark, and when it finally got light (about quarter to eight, for goodness sake!) I discovered my village was stuck inside a cloud and the day promised nothing but rain and greyness. This afternoon I was still fed up: more greyness, plus an added soupcon of grumpiness for good measure. This evening, I started out fed up ... but then I went to a singing group... and now I am HAPPY again!

Singing has got to be one of the BEST good things in life!

I know a lot of people will find this hard to believe. A lot of us get embarrassed for our singing when we are just little kids. My own humiliation was when I was eight, and our music teacher Mr Joiner (see - I remember his name) picked me last for our class choir. It took me decades to dare to open my mouth again. And of course, on the rare occasions I tried, it didn't sound good, 'cos voice muscles (like every other muscle in your body) won't work well when they're tense. Fear and singing don't mix well.

But my oh my oh my! If you can find a singing group to join - or if you're really shy, a secluded spot to indulge in secret singing - then GO FOR IT, please! There's nothing quite like singing for getting the endorphins going ... Yes, when it comes to the Happy Hormones, singing even gives sex a run for its money!

And if I really, really can't persuade you to try it yourself, then at least have a look at this Food Court Musical. It's singing as it should be: communal, spontaneous (well, maybe not!), just a little bit silly, and joyful! It'll make you smile - which is especially wonderful on an otherwise grey day!

Flow x

P.S. I adapted the title of this blog from a facebook group I'm rather fond of - thanks!

Weird and wonderful words

I love words.

Everyday words, rare and special words, technical words, poetic words, onomatopaeic words and nonsense words ... I'm pretty much with Sesame Street's Abby Cadabby on this: I've never met a word I didn't like.

Some words, though, give particular pleasure. Some of my everyday favourites are satisfyingly simple: egg, mug and ooze for example. Some are simply silly - ridiculous even - like cauliflower and collywobbles, ramshackle and rhinoceros. Others are scrunchy, tactile words like gravel, velveteen and - um - scrunchy.

You may have spotted a theme by now. Many of my favourites are words which sound somehow right for their meanings. Candelabra, for instance, sounds heavy, expensive and breakable. Thin sounds, well, thin. Curvaceous sounds wonderfully sensuous and generous.

It makes me especially happy when people create new words that feel apt, satisfying, or just plain perfect! Lewis Carroll, of course, was a master at this. The nonsense words in his poem Jabberwocky feel so right that people who hear them can often give you their own definitions. Try it yourself, with slithy, mimsy, frumious and uffish for instance. (Your definitions may or may not be the ones which Humpty Dumpty gave to Alice).

And of course, the very technology that brings you this blog has also introduced us to a fantastic, rich new vocabulary, with some words - like downloading, texting, streaming and re-booting, for example - now much more everyday than technical. If you fancy a laugh - or you need definitions of phrases like textrovert, foot in mouth disease or bullshit bingo - I'd really recommend The Urban Dictionary!

Yes, words are fun; words are there to be played with! I'm planning to invent at least one new word per week for the lifetime of this blog, starting with snorquel - which is the puzzling phenomenon of many Frenchmen snorkling together - and the title of today's photo. Go on, why don't you give it a go too?! Send me your invented words and I'll include them here!


Flow x

There's love and hope - not 'pure evil' - in Shannon Matthews' community

Once upon a time there was a poor little girl who was kidnapped and held prisoner for almost three weeks, tied up and drugged and made to keep quiet. Her mother called for help, and the police launched one of the biggest and most expensive searches in British history, backed by a community that stayed awake for nights on end and combed the streets looking for the missing girl.

But this isn't another fairy tale.

Yesterday, as you probably already know, Shannon Matthews' mother Karen was convicted of kidnapping her own daughter, and of false imprisonment and perverting the course of justice. The police spokesperson Det. Supt. Andy Brennan described her as 'pure evil'.

Now 'evil' is a very tricky thing to define. I'd argue that before you can say what 'evil' is, you probably have to define 'good' and also God. But in everyday usage, when you call someone 'evil' it means something more like "I don't like them 'cos I think they do really bad things". The Urban Dictionary (admittedly more amusing than authoratative) adds: "More specifically, they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, their money and anyone who might help them get their money".

Personally, I'd say that Karen Matthews seems to have acted nastily, cruelly, dangerously, thoughtlessly, selfishly, stupidly and probably greedily ... but I'd be hard pushed to call her 'evil'. I'm with Bruno Bettleheim on this, who thinks notions of good and evil belong in fairytales, and that in reality - uncomfortably - we are all "good and bad at the same time".

I really wish that police officers would keep opinions like this to themselves. The job of the police force is to ensure safe, strong communities - and spreading hatred is never, ever going to help. Brennan's comment reveals a primative psychology that seems to believe - like a simple fairy-tale or young child - or tabloid reader - that "A person is either good or bad, nothing in between". Grown-ups with responsible positions really should know better.

And thankfully, Shannon Matthews' own neighbours and community do know better.

Several news programmes have interviewed people from Dewsbury Moor, West Yorkshire - the neighbours and community activists on the Moorside estate who were actively involved in the hunt for Shannon. But although there is a sense of betrayal - after all, local people worked hard and selflessly for weeks - their anger has been restrained. By and large, local people seem to have resisted the urge to demonise Karen Matthews. One - tenants' rep Julie Busby - said on Radio 4 yesterday "Everybody's got views ... But I live on Moorside so I try to keep my views to myself ". I was impressed.

Dewsbury Moor is a strong community that has had a lot of bad press. But I live and work in the same Local Authority area, and have done bits of development work there in the past, and can tell you it doesn't deserve its tabloid reputation. Standing out from the pack, Channel 4 news has tried to paint a fairer picture of this "remarkably resilient and generous community that feels betrayed both by Karen Matthews and much of the media coverage". As one Dewsbury woman put it: "I don't think it's as bad as they make out".

The community is remarkable and inspiring because it is fighting against a tide of negative media coverage - and is so far resisting the temptation to join a tabloid witch-hunt. Good on them, I say!

And best of all, local people are remembering who is really the important person in all of this - the little girl Shannon herself.

I'll give the (almost) last word to local resident Petra Jamieson, speaking on the Channel 4 news broadcast yesterday: "I hope one day she'll come back onto Moorside estate and see the people that went out for 24 days searching for her, knowing that we all care about her, and we still will".

That gives me hope that after all, there's love - not hatred or 'evil' - in the heart of our communities.

Flow x

Thumbing our noses at Christmas

OK, now that it's December, I might just deign to start thinking about Christmas.

Left to my own devices, I would go and stay by a beach somewhere, deck the rocks with thousands of fairy lights, collect driftwood and light a big fire, and have a party with all my favourite people. No presents.

Of course the kids would never forgive me. For me, the best bits of Christmas are the socialising, and bringing extra light and warmth to the coldest time of year. But for them there's no doubt it's presents ... and sleeping in their own beds on Christmas eve so Santa can find them easily!

I do not enjoy Christmas shopping. I like giving gifts, but only when I find something that really suits a particular person. I don't like buying for the sake of buying, or the desperation you feel in the shops at this time of year. Everyone seems to take it so seriously.

But I have just found a website that will definitely help me thumb my nose at Christmas shopping! They're not paying me to advertise (honest!) but they have lots of truly ridiculous presents. A key-ring that you can pop like bubble wrap, for instance, and a shower-light that changes the colour of the water depending on its temperature.

One of the first things to catch my eye was a little package of Nothing. Literally. As the website says: "This lovingly crafted vial of emptiness is filled to the brim with unfettered nothingness. Free from the burden of possessions, the weight of responsibility, Nothing is as idiotic as it is brilliant. It's a statement, an empty gesture if you will, a nod at the futility of ownership, and yet despite 'Nothing' being nothing, it is of course packed with millions of protons, neutrons and what have you, which is pretty good for Nothing".

It's the perfect 'go-go with the flow' gift: simultaneously deep 'n' meaningful and utterly daft!

And THIS absurd little creature is another favourite. It's a flying pig, powered by elastic. "Next time someone poo poos your brilliant idea with a 'Pigs might Fly' comment, you can prove that they do by catapulting this ballistic Babe across the room". That sounds like a challenge to me!

And here's a challenge for you ... If you come across any silly gadgets and gizmos - ones that make you laugh out loud - let me know. Let's show 'em what we really mean by Christmas cheer!


Flow x

Wise words and cooking with reckless abandon

I'm not fond of spam email, but I received one this morning that I actually want to pass on!

Its creator tells us "This is what the Dalai Lama has to say for 2008". I checked out the Dalai Lama's website and couldn't find it there, but whether or not the words originally come from him, they are wise and worth sharing.

I tried uploading it - it's a Powerpoint presentation with great pictures, including the one here - but I couldn't manage it. So here is the text, minus the other pictures I'm afraid!

• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


• When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.


• Follow the three R’s: Respect for Self, Respect for Others and Responsibility for all your Actions.


• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.


• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.


• Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.


• When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


• Spend some time alone every day.


• Open your arms to change, but don’t give up your values.


• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.


• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.


• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.


• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.


• Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.


• Be gentle with the Earth.


• Once a year, go some place you’ve never been before.


• Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.


• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.


• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
  

I love the idea of 'cooking with reckless abandon'! I'm off to fling a few veg round the kitchen this very moment!

Oh, and if you like these words, pass them on! The spam-mail promises great good khama if you do!




Flow x