Jitterbugging Angels

Here's a little bit of wisdom for you boys and girls, on this fickle Sunday morning:

"Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but materialists have known all along it depends on whether they are jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek".

These are words from that go-going gaga guru Tom Robbins, not me. (And before anyone takes offense at my choice of adjective, look up gaga and see how I chose it 'cos it's apposite as well as alliterative!) It's one of his many insights that I wish I could claim were mine.

And now I must return to my grouting...

Money can't buy you love-or votes!

Just a little thought here: BBC Radio 4 told me yesterday that the Tories received £1.46 million in donations in the first week of this election campaign, and the Lib Dems received £20K... If we assume the donations are all being spent on campaigning (oh, and we do the maths), we can see that each percentage point of support is costing the LibDems (on 30 percent) about £665 and the Tories (on 33 percent) more than 66 times as much!

I had a dream!

No, I'm afraid it wasn't as profound as Martin Luther King's dream; it was a real, mundane dream, about an hour ago. And it woke me up.

Other people's dreams are pretty boring, so I'll paraphrase... I was writing an outline for a new TV series. But I there were other people around and I was due to go out somewhere, so I there were too many distractions to write. Plus I needed to get my younger son to hurry up, and I couldn't, so I was going to miss whatever it was I was supposed to be going out to do. It all led to pretty familiar feelings of frustration. Life getting in the way of art, again!

When I woke, feeling rather disgruntled, I spent quite a few minutes trying to remember the details of the TV outline so I could write it down - now that all the distractions had stopped. It didn't really dawn on me that it had all been a dream until I was awake enough to realise that there was nothing, really, to remember.

I was in a bad mood because mundane things had stopped me from doing something I wanted to do, but which I hadn't really been doing anyway!

Hang on to that thought for a moment...

Anyway, Ladles and Jellyspoons, you will have noticed that I have been away for Quite Some Time. I could give you an-elephant-ate-my-homework type of explanation, but other people's excuses are just as boring as other people's dreams, so I won't. I'll just say that I have been in a Bad Mood.

This Bad Mood has lasted a long time (and it hasn't quite gone away yet, but never mind that for now). At the root of it, I realise, is frustration that mundane things have stopped me doing things I want to do. Ha - deja vu!

The things I want to do (the important ones that I'm not managing anyhow) are writing, swimming outdoors and enjoying some sunshine. But somehow other things have got in the way - things like earning money, housework, newly-diagnosed arthritis and rain.

The trouble is that after a while of not doing things for very good reasons, you get out of the habit of doing them. Then you feel frustrated about not doing things you want to do, although you are making no effort at all to do them anyway!

So... I haven't been go-going with the flow, I've been sort of limping along with the flow. Time to kick myself up the arse!

Anyway, I've done a bit of writing, and now the sun is up, so I'm off.

'Til later...

Flow x

P.S. You'll notice I've had some fun with this silly-but-clever fake newspaper creating tool!

Pucker up!

This sign recently appeared at a Warrington station. Civic leaders say kissing there "causes car park congestion".

Spoil sports! We need more love and affection in this world, not less, and I say smooching is worth a bit of a wait.

So wherever you are, strike a blow for the freedom of Warrington lovers. Go on: pucker up today!


Flow x

The silly side of surveillance

Mark Thomas/FeelgoodTV - Video Surveillance

I've been thinking about surveillance (oh, no particular reason, Officer).

And when you think about it - which, let's face it, most of us would prefer not to - there are a lot of different possible responses to the fact we are all being spyed on. People whose lives are boring and/or self-satisfied tend towards the "Well, I've got nothing to hide" point of view. But the rest of us are often either worried, afraid or scandalised.

Mark Thomas, however (bless his cotton socks!), does a fine job of exposing the ridiculous side of surveillance, as well as its outrageousness. As this video clip shows, if you choose to meet sneaky, covert operations with open, honest communication, and a polite-but-mischievous refusal to play by their rules, then the Powers That Be end up looking rather foolish.

Which is only to be expected, I suppose, when the key words that the establishment spies listen out for include artichoke and badger!

Oops, I've said 'em now! No doubt Echelon has already noticed ...

Flow x

A woman's brain

My friend Lorna sent me this diagram of a woman's brain (thank you).

Clearly this shouldn't be used as any kind of instruction guide for surgery, but it tickled me: it's more or less what my brain feels like at the moment!




Flow x

Random fun with Christmas crackers!

Random Acts of Fun: Christmas Crackers!

Yesterday was the winter solstice - the shortest, darkest day of the year - a time when the world especially needs a bit of light and laughter!

So I went with a bunch of people to a big shopping centre in our nearest town, to take part in a Random Act of Fun. We simply took along a few boxes of Christmas crackers and asked strangers "Would you like to pull a cracker with me?"

Have a quick look at the video to see what happened (it's only one-and-a-half minutes long)... And though it's sad to see that some people actually seemed scared to share in such a simple pleasure, we did bring smiles to lots of other faces!

Flow x

Ten things I didn't know last week

I've just found a lovely page on the BBC website - 10 things we didn't know last week. And since Learning New Things is one of my favourite pastimes, I thought I'd give you my own list of things that I didn't know last week ...

* 97% of the world's money only exists electronically - only 3% exists as notes or coins.

* Loads of corporations are richer than countries: for example, Toyota and General Electric are richer than Portugal and Iran; Wal-mart, Exxon and Ford are richer than South Africa and Saudi Arabia (ibid).

* If a school holds incorrect information about your child, the Data Protection Act says they have to put it right.

* When my local Chinese takeaway says food could take "up to an hour", they actually mean one hour and 47 minutes.

* Solar noon (the time when the sun is highest in the sky) is at exactly noon on Christmas eve , for the one-and-only time this year.

* Google Earth also lets you look at the sky above your location, including stars, sunrises and sunsets (I've tried it - it's fun!)

* Our local Council doesn't want yoghurt pots because they don't have facilities for recycling polypropylene - not because they're fed up with unwashed, mouldy tubs.

* Burger King is marketing a men's perfume with the scent of meat. (YUCK! Please don't add that one to your Christmas lists, boys!)

* Galileo thermometers measure temperature by using little balls filled with liquids of slightly different densities, which change pressure as the liquids expand and contract, and so float up and down in a tube of water at different rates ... and they're pretty, too! (That's what's shown in the picture above - courtesy of Wikipedia).

* 'Mince' means 'coin' in Czech ... so are mince pies popular in the Czech Republic?!

So ... what would be on your list of new things you've learned this week?!

Flow x

Lunar lunacy

Tonight's full moon is closer to the Earth than it has been at any time in the past 15 years. It's about 30,000km closer ... which is roughly twice the distance between London (England) and Sidney (Australia).

Funnily enough, I 'own' a bit of the moon. My acre is in Area E-5, Quadrant Foxtrot - about where the left eye would be, if the moon were a face ...

Isn't that a crazy bit of hubris? Real lunacy! As if anyone could actually claim to possess a bit of the marvellous moon. But it was an irresistible purchase - a joke that is also a seductive slice of fantasy! Apparently the Head Cheese who is the 'recognised owner' of the moon has the legal right to sell on slivers to whomever he chooses. Even you, if you like!

I don't really expect to be able to retire to my acre of moon. But I love the idea that I might!

Back on earth, I've just been outside: it's wild and wet and windy, but too cloudy to actually see anything.

.

But I reckon that full moon explains a thing or two about today ...

.

.

.

Flow x

(This image of the moon is provided by NASA copyright-free, and has been downloaded from Wikipedia).

No clangers from the Clangers!

There was a sad bit of news today: Oliver Postgate - the creator of the 1970s children's TV classics The Clangers, Bagpuss, Noggin the Nog and Ivor the Engine - has died.

If you're my sort of age, you will probably remember the Clangers and their swanee whistle voices, and the gargley Soup Dragon (and all those other programmes too), with very fond nostalgia. I was four when the Clangers started, and I loved them. Their gentleness, music, and liking for strange contraptions seeped into my consciousness - I identified with them and wanted to be a Clanger too!

Now the BBC has released a fragment from a missing Clangers' episode, and re-awoken great memories. This was the last-ever Clangers programme, and was a four minute election special broadcast on October 10, 1974. It was considered controversial (What, politics in children's telly? How appalling!) and has never been shown since.

As I remember, the Clangers lived in a kind of peaceful anarchy - arguably much preferable to any political system known to us today! In the fragment, the narrator tries to explain politics to the incredulous Clangers, who shake their heads in disbelief at it all. And their episode Treasure is a parable about how very silly it is to get obsessed with money!

So let's call on the BBC to release the whole of the 'missing' episode. Perhaps the Clangers have some wisdom that will get us out of our current economic and political messes!

.

.

Flow x

Why yes, I do occasionally just burst out in song!

This morning I was fed up: I had to get up in the dark, and when it finally got light (about quarter to eight, for goodness sake!) I discovered my village was stuck inside a cloud and the day promised nothing but rain and greyness. This afternoon I was still fed up: more greyness, plus an added soupcon of grumpiness for good measure. This evening, I started out fed up ... but then I went to a singing group... and now I am HAPPY again!

Singing has got to be one of the BEST good things in life!

I know a lot of people will find this hard to believe. A lot of us get embarrassed for our singing when we are just little kids. My own humiliation was when I was eight, and our music teacher Mr Joiner (see - I remember his name) picked me last for our class choir. It took me decades to dare to open my mouth again. And of course, on the rare occasions I tried, it didn't sound good, 'cos voice muscles (like every other muscle in your body) won't work well when they're tense. Fear and singing don't mix well.

But my oh my oh my! If you can find a singing group to join - or if you're really shy, a secluded spot to indulge in secret singing - then GO FOR IT, please! There's nothing quite like singing for getting the endorphins going ... Yes, when it comes to the Happy Hormones, singing even gives sex a run for its money!

And if I really, really can't persuade you to try it yourself, then at least have a look at this Food Court Musical. It's singing as it should be: communal, spontaneous (well, maybe not!), just a little bit silly, and joyful! It'll make you smile - which is especially wonderful on an otherwise grey day!

Flow x

P.S. I adapted the title of this blog from a facebook group I'm rather fond of - thanks!

Weird and wonderful words

I love words.

Everyday words, rare and special words, technical words, poetic words, onomatopaeic words and nonsense words ... I'm pretty much with Sesame Street's Abby Cadabby on this: I've never met a word I didn't like.

Some words, though, give particular pleasure. Some of my everyday favourites are satisfyingly simple: egg, mug and ooze for example. Some are simply silly - ridiculous even - like cauliflower and collywobbles, ramshackle and rhinoceros. Others are scrunchy, tactile words like gravel, velveteen and - um - scrunchy.

You may have spotted a theme by now. Many of my favourites are words which sound somehow right for their meanings. Candelabra, for instance, sounds heavy, expensive and breakable. Thin sounds, well, thin. Curvaceous sounds wonderfully sensuous and generous.

It makes me especially happy when people create new words that feel apt, satisfying, or just plain perfect! Lewis Carroll, of course, was a master at this. The nonsense words in his poem Jabberwocky feel so right that people who hear them can often give you their own definitions. Try it yourself, with slithy, mimsy, frumious and uffish for instance. (Your definitions may or may not be the ones which Humpty Dumpty gave to Alice).

And of course, the very technology that brings you this blog has also introduced us to a fantastic, rich new vocabulary, with some words - like downloading, texting, streaming and re-booting, for example - now much more everyday than technical. If you fancy a laugh - or you need definitions of phrases like textrovert, foot in mouth disease or bullshit bingo - I'd really recommend The Urban Dictionary!

Yes, words are fun; words are there to be played with! I'm planning to invent at least one new word per week for the lifetime of this blog, starting with snorquel - which is the puzzling phenomenon of many Frenchmen snorkling together - and the title of today's photo. Go on, why don't you give it a go too?! Send me your invented words and I'll include them here!


Flow x

Thumbing our noses at Christmas

OK, now that it's December, I might just deign to start thinking about Christmas.

Left to my own devices, I would go and stay by a beach somewhere, deck the rocks with thousands of fairy lights, collect driftwood and light a big fire, and have a party with all my favourite people. No presents.

Of course the kids would never forgive me. For me, the best bits of Christmas are the socialising, and bringing extra light and warmth to the coldest time of year. But for them there's no doubt it's presents ... and sleeping in their own beds on Christmas eve so Santa can find them easily!

I do not enjoy Christmas shopping. I like giving gifts, but only when I find something that really suits a particular person. I don't like buying for the sake of buying, or the desperation you feel in the shops at this time of year. Everyone seems to take it so seriously.

But I have just found a website that will definitely help me thumb my nose at Christmas shopping! They're not paying me to advertise (honest!) but they have lots of truly ridiculous presents. A key-ring that you can pop like bubble wrap, for instance, and a shower-light that changes the colour of the water depending on its temperature.

One of the first things to catch my eye was a little package of Nothing. Literally. As the website says: "This lovingly crafted vial of emptiness is filled to the brim with unfettered nothingness. Free from the burden of possessions, the weight of responsibility, Nothing is as idiotic as it is brilliant. It's a statement, an empty gesture if you will, a nod at the futility of ownership, and yet despite 'Nothing' being nothing, it is of course packed with millions of protons, neutrons and what have you, which is pretty good for Nothing".

It's the perfect 'go-go with the flow' gift: simultaneously deep 'n' meaningful and utterly daft!

And THIS absurd little creature is another favourite. It's a flying pig, powered by elastic. "Next time someone poo poos your brilliant idea with a 'Pigs might Fly' comment, you can prove that they do by catapulting this ballistic Babe across the room". That sounds like a challenge to me!

And here's a challenge for you ... If you come across any silly gadgets and gizmos - ones that make you laugh out loud - let me know. Let's show 'em what we really mean by Christmas cheer!


Flow x

Penguins

I must just share this with you...

Penguins.

Yes, I said penguins!

As my friend Scribblemoose says, "It's hard to take life too seriously when you're watching penguins. So silly, so beautiful and so very full of joy".

Penguins, it seems to me, are absolutely the best role models for go-going with the flow! Thank you, Scribblemoose!



Video and photo - copyright to Scribblemoose 2008.

And here's a link to another fabulous piece of artistic silliness ... a melting icecream van, which I found quite by chance on Boingboing.net, which describes itself as 'a directory of wonderful things' and is apparently the most popular blog in the world!

Flow x

Pure silliness!

I have nothing sensible to say today, so I won't even try! Instead, here are some cheering thoughts, chosen more-or-less at random...

I love this sign, for instance. It's not just a health and safety warning, it's a metaphor for life. Yes, it says sensibly, life is full of challenges, so be careful. But twist your perspective slightly (the lime green might help you!) and it also shouts... "Don't let ridiculous footwear stop you going where you want!"

And this fantastic piece of artwork, which I stumbled upon in another castle, at Collioure in South-West France.

It moves as you walk through the room, and it's at least as much kite as sculpture! If anyone knows (or thinks they can guess) the artist, please let me know.













And this, um, interesting variation on a guard dog!
















And all sorts of other silly things too, like fairy wings for grown-ups, and fluffy dice, and bubbles, and the contents of this website, and - well - allsorts, of the liquorice kind. Oh, and penguins, which are soooo silly that they deserve a blog entry all of their own!



Flow x

The sun HAS got its hat on!

Don't you just love it when the doom-mongers are wrong?!

First up is the weather forecaster on Thursday, who told me I could expect heavy rain again today. But as I write, I'm looking out my window at the blue sky and fast-scudding white clouds of a perfect autumn day ... well, HAH!

And just a couple of months ago, plenty of heavy-weight commentators were saying Obama couldn't win the US presidential elections, whether because of his race or because some other dirt could be dished that would spoil his chances ... well, HAH again!

And then there are those famous - or infamous - gloomy brickbats. Like the IBM chairman who, in 1943, so modestly speculated "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers". Or the DECCA music company executive who rejected the Beatles demo in 1962, saying "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out". Or - perhaps the most pessimistic prediction of all time - the World Health report in 1989 that claimed "There will be one million cases of AIDS in Britain by 1991". In fact there were around 8,000.

Why DO we seem to have got into such miserable habits? It's time for some more GOOD news stories! There are a few US sites, of which the best (by which I mean least schmaltzy and/or religious) seems to be http://www.happynews.com/, but I haven't found a British or European equivalent.

So here are my headlines... They're all TRUE, though it's just possible that not all of them made the national news.

• Mortgage rates now lowest since 1965!
  
• Youth rescues trapped dog by jumping in canal!


• Thief sends apology and £100, years after stealing cigs!


• "Tiggers Don't Like Honey" sketch fetches £31K at auction!
  

And if your taste for good news stories stetches as far as a willingness to listen to semi-amateur rock bands, then you might like to check out 'Canary Wolf' http://www.myspace.com/canarywolf . Their new song 'Credit Crunch' is at least as much about carrots as finance. As their lead singer says "It's not the end of the world, is it? There's benefits. We were all — myself included — spending money on things we didn't need".

They certainly know how to go-go with the flow!



Flow x